Monday, July 11, 2016

Open Letter....

**Its been a while! I apologize but life has been happening at ultrafast supersonic speed and I’ve been holding on for dear life. I keep getting notifications of people still following me on twitter and I’m like “Me dat haven’t posted in 10 years” but praise God for his grace. Thank you to everyone who emailed, tweeted and such both asking of me and encouraging me to put up a post. So MUCH has changed in my personal life and there are some things I would love to share. Let me first sha, throw this post up and by his grace, I will be back soon with a update post. Much love and his blessings to you all***.



John 8 vs 32...Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.



Dear Sis,
Thank you for writing to me. I remember the first time I posted a "Dear Inthe Q" and the first time you ever wrote to me. I thank you and bless God for a chance to be used by him. Although, it has always been the other way round, today, I am taking the initiative in writing to you.

All Stamped Up with No Place to Go

A few things have been on my heart and I really want to share with you. As always, I pray God's words, not mine, be spoken. Isn't love and marriage the craziest of things? That is exactly what I want to share with you. I have noticed a lot of falsehood being shared as truth and I want to remind you of the things we have discussed through the years.


1)Love should not hurt
Sorrows of a Broken Heart

I know mommy and aunty might have told you that some pain in love is normal; I've been told the same. He might hit you or hurt you with his words or control you with fear but such things have always been and will always be. Sis, that is not true. You can enjoy a life of love without pain or fear. You hide your bruises and stay with your boyfriend because you think the purity of your love or the frequency of sex will change him someday but if he hurts you now, he will, without fail, hurt you then. Marriage in of itself has nothing to offer you but what you put into it.

2)Sex without a ring is sin
LUST
I know you tried to wait but he's been pushing you and your friends laughing at you. On good days, he tells you if you really love me, you would be willing to express it.  On bad days, he accuses you of giving it to someone else. If that's not hard enough, your friends shame you calling you SU, old school or Mother Teresa.  Truth is, they wish they had what you have. Sis, let me remind you that any form of sex i.e. vaginal, oral or anal is a sin.  Be it the first day you meet or the night before your wedding; regardless, unless vows are exchanged. It is a sin. Don't believe the hype that commitment  is the same thing as a ring or loyalty can replace wedding vows. Know yourself and whom it is you’re promise.

3)You are incomplete without a ring
Loving You
This is probably the biggest lie of all. I know you turned 30 yesterday. Amid the cake and festivity, there were also tears. You are 30 without a ring or even a suitor on the horizon. Yes your career is on track, personal ministry on point and have had the joy of fulfilling friends and relationships but the constant reminder is that you, accolades and all, are still single. You may think its easy for me to say, as I’m married with children, but also remember that I speak from experience. Regardless of what the world tells you, remember that You....YOU, are enough, plain and simple. You are the apple of your father’s eye and if you only had a glimpse of what he has in store for you, it would take your breath away. Love yourself and all the odds and ends you contain. Find your worth in his love and not the rubbish the world spits at you.

I love you... and you know where to find me.
Blessings
Inthe....


Musings from atop the potter’s wheel.....



Sunday, April 10, 2016

Dear Inthe...Whom do I follow?

Hello Inthemidstofher,

I have been following your blog for a while now, I remember reading your posts right from age 22 till now (currently 26) and admiring how God-centered your advice has always been. I always thought that if I had a relationship dilemma, I would like the input of a Biblical centered sister as yourself to advise. My first relationship was when I was around 19 and with someone I had known since I was 7. I remembered praying and thinking he was the one but finally after a fast one summer, I realized God said No when he broke up with me. I was hurt and felt misled by God, but I now know that he was never the one for me. I met someone, unlike me, he is from a broken family and he is still coming up in his career. Together, we have been praying together in our relationship and we have had ups and downs and I have seen him stick to his words, I have also seen in him a desire to keep growing in his relationship in Christ - while he isn't always in Church, he does believe in Christ and he has encouraged me during down times either emotionally, when I need prayers or just someone to carry my groceries, run errands etc.

 Left-Right

Now comes my dilemma, my mother and father do not want this relationship. My mother has been warning me off it, it has gotten so bad these past couple of days - I am so tired of fighting my parents - mind you, my parents and I NEVER EVER fight (I am a first born and your stereotypical goody-too-shoes child). My mum and I live together, so she has seen him a couple of times. Her reasons are that he is 8 months younger than me, although he is Nigerian, he is from a diff tribe and grew up here (abroad) and raised here by a single mum so she says because of that he could walk away from me anytime and will not understand our culture (we are from different tribes), she says he still has a long way to go and that she doesn't want to see me suffer in life and that this is her motherly instinct (Mind you he is currently applying to go to law school). Additionally, she says she is not comfortable with his family background and that she just doesn't see us together (my parents are always one in accord and both share these sentiments). I have kept trying to convince her that even though yes, I have reservations about his family background as well but that is not something we can reasonably hold against him (he was a child when his parents split up), I have also told her that he has never treated me questionably. You know, because of my parents' doubts, I find myself beginning to have doubts and holding him to microscopic lenses and questioning everything he does - it is crazy because it is not fair to him. I know I am to honor my parents, I also believe that one way God can speak to us is through our families, so I keep wondering if this is a sign of God's disapproval of my relationship*. 
Thanks,
Wondering heart
*Edited for privacy and brevity

Dear Wondering Heart.
Thank you so much for the blog love! Wow, you've been following me for four whole years; I can't believe I've been blogging that long. I give God the glory for this gift because I truly enjoy it.
Let's get down to business....
You said: My first relationship was when I was around 19 and with someone I had known since I was 7. I remembered praying and thinking he was the one but finally after a fast one summer, I realized God said No when he broke up with me. I was hurt and felt misled by God... 

 crying-woman

 Before I get to  the heart of your question, I have to address this. No matter where you go, whether you take my advice or not. Whether you become a married woman or  leave for heaven still single. Please don't ever...ever feel God is capable of misleading you. The bible says "...God is light and in him no darkness at all..." God will NEVER mislead you because just as its impossible for the Devil to bless you; it is absolutely impossible for God to mislead you. You realized after a fast that your ex wasn't for you? Did you fast before the relationship started? I don't want to beat a dead horse because that relationship is now irrelevant but  know if God is big enough to serve, he is big enough to trust.

You said: Now comes my dilemma, my mother and father do not want this relationship. Her reasons are that he is 8 months younger than me, although he is Nigerian, he is from a diff tribe and grew up here (abroad) and raised here by a single mum so she says because of that he could walk away from me anytime and will not understand our culture. Additionally, she says she is not comfortable with his family background and that she just doesn't see us together.
 In your statement, you gave me what your mother thinks, what your father thinks and what you, yourself, think. What I'm yet to hear is what God thinks.  Have you prayed about this relationship. I mean honestly poured out your heart to God to inquire if he is the one or not. That prayer and it's answer will dictate your next step.  If God assures you he is the one, well to be blunt, it really doesn't matter what anyone, parents included says. Now please don't get me wrong, this is the hard part and a part I myself struggle with; but God's truth is God's truth regardless of whether we believe it or not.

Thinking

In a previous post, I wrote about God being  more concerned with one's walk with him than about one's  tribes. Look at the bible, God commanded the Israelites to marry within themselves and not foreigners for only one reason: The foreigners did not know him. If God was against non-israelites just for the sheer fact that they were not born Jews, Ruth and Rahab would not be in the lineage of our Lord Jesus Christ. The second, they accepted him, they became as worthy as the Israelites. Another thing I notice are your parent's reasons are all factors he had absolutely nothing to do with! Just as he couldn't choose when and where he was born, he couldn't influence his tribe or his parents marital status. Are your parents Christian? What do they think of him as a man and his walk?

You said: You know, because of my parents' doubts, I find myself beginning to have doubts and holding him to microscopic lenses and questioning everything he does - it is crazy because it is not fair to him. 

Absolutely not fair to him. Going back and forth opens him up to a lot of criticism; much of which is undeserving. Remember the bible says a man of double mind  and unstable in all they do.

You said: I know I am to honor my parents, I also believe that one way God can speak to us is through our families, so I keep wondering if this is a sign of God's disapproval of my relationship.

 ConFused

 Yes, you are to honor your parents but be obedient to God.  Another hard but true part. I am a fellow Nigerian so I know how close to gospel our parents words are, but as a child of God, my obligation first and foremost is to be obedient to God. If God is saying he is the one, your allegiance lies with God,  regardless of what your parents say. This is why you have to be sure of what God is asking of you and even if God is telling you contrary to your parents, you take every step with respect and honor to them still. if God is against your relationship, he wont need to tell you through your parents; unless he see you are not listening to what he is telling you himself.

 Woman Praying

Sister girl. Marriage is huge! I can tell you it can impact your walk in ways NOTHING else can.  Go back to God, start there and figure out what exactly he is saying about your relationship. This word will direct your steps.

You know where to find me.
Blessings
Inthe...

Sunday, February 28, 2016

The Battlefield of Attraction....


It's a slow fade when you give yourself away. It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray. Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid; when you give yourself away. People never crumble in a day...daddies never crumble in a day....Families never crumble in a day
                                       - Casting Crowns (Slow Fade) 



A little while back, I was talking to a dear guy friend of mine (Shout outs to Enyan mi!) who is currently pursuing this girl. He's a man of honor and really wants to do the whole "love" thing the right way. As he's seeking this girl's heart, he confided in me that the girl has a friend who is unconsciously piquing his interest as well.  Even though his sights are on the girl, there are one or two things about the girl's friend that grabs his attention as well.  As we were gisting about his situation, I shared what I felt might help. In the process, I also shared my story.....

As a doctor, I can go from " Hi, My name is Dr. Inthe.. to " please take off your clothes" in a matter of minutes. Quite a delicate situation to be in right? A while back, I had a patient, a male, who came in for something routine. We were talking and discussing the treatment plan when I realized something...there was something about him I found extremely attractive. For the sake of transparency, I did not see him naked and I can say in all honesty, it wasn't like I wanted to sleep with him, but I knew if I was single, and he asked me out, I would probably say yes.

Untitled

As a woman, there are things you found attractive in your mate; so what do you do if you find the same things in a person who isn't your mate? The truth of the matter is that goodness, beauty, loyalty, spirituaity and all the other things that drew you to your mate is not copy written to him; he doesn't own it. If you look far and wide enough, you'll find the same traits in another person.

 So I did what I had to do; I told the hubster. I didn't wait till i was home ooh, as I finished work for the day and jumped into my car, I spoke to him on the phone.

"Babes, I saw this guy today, he had x and y, I thought he was very attractive."

Lets pause for a while....

Now a lot of women are screaming "You told him? You told your husband you found another guy attractive?'

Yup! I did! Why? Because the mind and heart are the jump off points for everything you do. Have you ever woken up in another state without knowing how you got there? Nope! You plan everything you do in your mind and heart before undertaking it. If  I was to step out on the hubster, it would start in my mind and heart and I was NOT giving the devil any leeway. There will always be forbidden fruit, the question is what do you do with it?

taste of forbidden fruit.


Wanna know something else? The hubster tells me stuff too.

A little while back, this single attractive chick co-worker invited him  to work out together. Hubster said she is georgous as in... even the chicks at work comment on how fine she is.  So she wants to go "sweat" with my man abi?  Hubster politely declined  but made it a point to tell me, especially how attractive she was.

The Forbidden 
Fruit

Did I go crazy? Did I flip out. Nope! I was grateful. Grateful that he had taken that forbidden apple and thrown it far away. Sometimes we think we are indestructible.  We wanna touch the  forbidden apple, smell it,  and even lick it while swearing we will never take a bite.  Like the song "Slow fade" by casting crown; everything is a slow and gradual fade. You dont just drop into sin, sometimes you slip and slide into it.  By bringing attraction to the table, the hubster and I are sticking to a plan we adopted early in our marriage.  If either of us even felt  someone was hot enough for us to like, we would tell the other person kia kia. From there, we would move into the battle zone and protect what we have.

So what did the hubster say about this my guy patient?

Hubster: So you felt his X and Y was attractive?
Me: Yes, you know how i feel about it.
...... (personal yarns)
......(personal yarns)

Two minutes later, we were laughing. He stayed on the phone with me till I got home and we talked it out. Funny enough, the burden I had felt all day was lifted. No stress, no drama! No slow fades!


...Musings from atop the potter's wheel....

Friday, February 05, 2016

Dear Inthe... Intimacy without sex.

Hi, Inthemidstofher


Happy weekends

I want to say thanks for the advice a while back when I messed up with my boyfriend, am happy to say my boyfriend forgave me and we are working things out right now......i owe that to u....thanks a whole lot. Inthemidstofher I have another issue I will like to hear your opinion about..

So right now am trying to stop having sex,i want to have a better relationship with God. How do I tell my boyfriend we have to stop, our relationship is long distance there's always that urge when we see each other after a long time. How are we supposed to be intimate without sex, am worried we might not have a relationship or it will just be formal and boring without sex
30 Days of Life Support - Love - With Just a Sprinkle of Your Touch, I'm Covered in YOU.
I really dnt know what to do,mere seeing my boyfriend arouses me. When he comes over or I go over does it mean we can't sleep in the same room,does it mean we can't kiss. How is the relationship going to work,we are a long way from marriage can we survive it. Looking forward to your reply
Can I just say I love you.....Yes alot of Homo
What you are doing is amazing
May God continue to bless you
LoverGirl





Hey Lovergirl

Thanks for your patience. Let’s get down to business; you had to bring up the hard questions didn’t you *wink*? Well, as always I invite God into our conversation and may his words be spoken.

So how can a relationship survive without sex? Does this kill a relationship and what can we do if we don’t have plans on getting married soon. I answered a similar question here… http://www.inthemidstofher.com/2015/01/dear-inthewhy-is-god-silent.html you can read this before you read my comments below.

You said: I really don’t know what to do, mere seeing my boyfriend arouses me

This is perfect! Actually quite excellent. Why? Because God blessed each and every one of us with this beautiful thing called a sex drive.
 Close-up portrait of a young couple in love
Some people like to say they lack one and if you are attracted to the opposite sex you must be a sinner but in their ignorance they fail to realize that the problem is not the sex drive but what you do with it. Sex like everything else in this world was made to glorify God and the ONLY way sex glorifies God is within the context of marriage.

You said: How are we supposed to be intimate without sex, am worried we might not have a relationship or it will just be formal and boring without sex.

Ah, this is where the hard part comes in….One thing I have learnt is that Intimacy and sex are two different things and comparing the two is like comparing apples to oranges. Yes, they are both fruits but they are NOT the same fruit.
 Apples to Oranges

I know it’s quite difficult for you because your definition of intimacy has been based solely on sex with your boyfriend. You, my friend, are going to have to go back to intimacy school. STOP LAUGHING. I know for a fact that your knowledge of intimacy is based on the physical because without it, you don’t know what to do.
Sweethearts
Let me ask you a question. If you were to get married and due to health reasons, you couldn’t have sexual contact with your hubby for a year; what would happen? Would you still be able to have a fulfilling monogamous relationship or would the relationship fall apart? If you said “Stay together” then the same steps you would take to keep your relationship alive is what you will need to apply here.

Here is my post on sex before marriage:

What can you do to foster intimacy without taking your clothes off?

Now let me tell you straight up now that what I’m going to say here will not make any sense initially because you’ve been to the promise land and have experienced it. It’s like me trying to tell you to manage fruit after a year of eating only candy; it’s hard because your senses have been heightened but through God’s grace you can bring these heightened senses under subjection until the right time. The fact that you’ve been intimate doesn’t disqualify you from learning anew, it only makes things a bit harder because you know what it feels like.

 Intimate

You need to learn how to replace physical intimacy with emotional intimacy; I can’t tell you exactly how you are going to do that because I don’t know the private dynamics that control your relationship. You are going to have to prayerfully find ways to keep the romance strong without going physical. Like I said, you can’t “unring the bell” but God can help you make this work. This is what happens when you share your inner thoughts with a person. Getting to see a side of a person NO ONE else sees creates a level of intimacy like no other. Sharing struggles, dreams and aspirations fosters and strengthens your emotional connection thereby strengthening your relationship. Guess what? I wish you a long fulfilling sex life in your future marriage but when uncle is like 100 years old and can’t get up, you will need to have emotional intimacy downpack to keep your relationship moving.

You said: we are a long way from marriage can we survive it? When he comes over or I go over does it mean we can't sleep in the same room, does it mean we can't kiss

I won’t lie to you. I’m not a fan of long drawn out relationships for this purpose exactly. The longer a relationship is, the higher the chances of falling to sexual temptation. I would strongly encourage you to figure out what is preventing you from getting married now. I wrote a post on it. Check it out here. http://www.inthemidstofher.com/2013/05/dear-intheim-ready-hes-not-should-i.html
Day 34- True Love Waits!

Can you sleep in the same bed? Can you kiss? Lol… I would usually say it depends but thinking of your history, it might be hard for you to say no once things start getting heated up. Remember sin is an intimate violation of God’s word, let’s not walk in a way that will bring temptation on.

You said: How do I tell my boyfriend we have to stop?

I don’t know…but you have to. You also have to understand this might be enough reason for the relationship to end. He might not be willing to walk this path with you or he might say he will but end up trying to talk you out of this decision. Either way, you have to ask yourself if you are emotionally and spiritually strong enough to sacrifice this relationship for God; it just might come down to it.
 Love Yourself!
Remember abstaining cannot be done just on physical determination; you need spiritual strength and a firm foundation on what you believe in. if he is not saved, besides the fact that you shouldn’t be in an unevenly yoked relationship, he might not share your beliefs on sex. Either way, you’ll never know unless you talk to him. His decision will tell you of his spiritual maturity and where he is with his personal walk with Jesus Christ.

Remember God won’t give you more than you can bear and his rewards are greater than anyone else can give you. You know where to find me sis… Get back to me ANYTIME!!

LUV YOU

Inthe…


Sunday, January 10, 2016

My name is Inthe... and I'm a Farmer.

Happy New Year folks! Wow, where did 2015 go?

 Happy new year

Last year was absolutely crazy beautifully chaotic and it was truly God and the love of a good man that brought me through. Last year, I became a small business owner! Yay! The hubster is laughing at me because I have a grand total employee of 1; but who cares? it's mine! I made the hubster the CFO and pay him in food and sex. LOL.  Also, you guys know I had a new baby as well.  It's been a balancing act but I wouldn't have it any other way. Last year, I tried something new.... I started answering my "Dear Inthe...Q's" over the phone. Ha! what was  I thinking? In my head, I thought discussing  their problems over the phone and putting a "voice" to Inthe might help. Ha! Some call sessions went well, and some "not so well". Let's just say I'll keep emailing and leave the phone calls for now.
 Day 348 Domestic Goddess


In keeping with tradition, every year, I pick a personal theme for my role as wife and mom. In previous years I've been everything from an architect to an investor and being able to focus on a goal a year has been so fruitful. This year I want to be a farmer. Not too sexy right? I know, but it is the epitome of what I want to be.   To be a bit more specific, I want to be a nurturer.  God has blessed me with 2 little seedlings ( Little man and baby boy) that need a caring and nurturing hand in order to develop into what they were made to be. I want  my focus to be on providing all they need to develop into physically, spiritually and emotionally healthy children. I want to be present in the moments of their lives.  I want my home to be emotionally save and a haven from the world.
seedling in shell


  I also have a strong tall, iroko tree to care for..lol, that's the hubster.
No matter how strong a man is, there are provisions only his woman can give and I want to be able to give it with ALL that I am. I want to nurture those traits that make him the man I love and encourage the fruits to expand and multiply. We women are the thermometers of our home and can easily influence how " hot" or cold" the home is. If the hubster comes home tired or upset about a situation, I've come to realize how easily I can improve his mood and when little man falls and runs to me, my hugs and kisses are enough to make things right. In embracing my role of a helpmeet, God has given me an understanding of how powerful I truly am.

MK like first in love


One last thing, my girlfriend Eziaha brought to my attention that my posts have been geared more towards single and it seems I've forgotten my married readers. I objected till I did a personal audit and realized she was absolutely right. I apologize to my married readers oooo. This new year will bring more posts geared towards marriage and keeping our homes  a thing of joy ( ...and envy)

Let's do this year right... to the glory of God

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

Ps....Did you notice I'm trying out color pics and not the usual black and white ones? LOL!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Soul Ties Part 2: Fear

 Whom have you so dreaded and feared that you have not been true to me, and have neither remembered me nor taken this to heart? Is it not because I have long been silent that you do not fear me? -Isaiah 57: 11

So in my last post, we discussed how sex created soul ties. This week, I want to bring up another creator of soul ties; are you ready for it? FEAR.
I've seen this too many times for comfort and unfortunately, it tends to be the lady on the fearing side. A couple in a relationship and the woman willing to bend over backwards accepting of ANYTHING the guy brings because she's afraid of losing him. Be it infidelity, abuse or even the lack of 1Tim3'ness  just because she is afraid of life without him

dont leave me

Rom 8:15: For you have not received a spirit of bondage again to fear

Before you snicker and shake your head, let me explain something to you.  Fear itself, is as much a bond as sex. In a relationship, fear is a bondage that allows the worse things in life entrance into your life.  Let me give an example, you know I like those..lol
ALL TIED UP IN SILK


Imagine a super soldier, someone trained in the art of fighting, tall and strong, guarding treasure. It would be really difficult for someone to come in and rob him of the treasure right? Ok, Now imagine this same soldier being placed in a cage; even a baby could rob him blind and take advantage of him right? Why? because in bondage, our super soldier is powerless...he has gone from a super soldier to a slave. Just like that! well, in a relationship where one partner lives in fear, s/he lives in bondage and that bondage makes you accept the unacceptable because you are powerless. 

Someone scare her!

Afraid of what?  ANYTHING...
- Never falling in love again
 - Never finding someone who fulfills ( financial, emotional, physical) needs that her current guy seems to be doing.
- Afraid that your partner might hurt himself if you leave
There is one more group of people I have to mention; people in relationships because they are afraid of what other people might say or do. Yes, I've heard it too many times: Inthe, I am afraid to leave because Holy Reverend mother Teresa and Prophet James told me he is the ONE for me. God wont sit down and plan your life with other people without bringing you into the conversation! Your relationship with him is intimate, if you'll listen, he would gladly show you his plans.

1 John 4:18: ...because perfect love expels all fear...

Ok, I can hear some people in the crowd: No, In the you are wrong, I am NOT powerless, I stay because I am in love!  Sorry to break it to you sister but the mere fact that you are fear tells me you are not in love because the bible says what? Perfect love casts our fear! Just like it being impossible for light and darkness to co-habit, it's impossible to be in love and in fear at the same time. Let me clarify something... "Perfect Love" does not mean 2 perfect people in love ooh. Perfect love means love blessed by the father!  God is love and when he is invited into a relationship, he perfects the love between the 2 people.  I am no where close to perfection but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am in perfect love with my hubster! it's going to take God himself to separate our three-fold cord.

First Date Landmark Diner


Next post, we'll close out this series with the last instigator of Soul Ties...Stay Tuned!


...Musings from atop the potter's wheel


Monday, November 23, 2015

Soul Ties...

 *** Wow, it's been a while! Ha! Thank you to all the people who congratulated me on the birth of my second baby! Its been such a crazy chaotically beautiful busy new era in our lives.  My cup is so on "runneth over" mode! I won't lie, I have been so busy... Motherhood, wifeyhood ( still gotta drop it like it's hot right?) and work... I was tempted to shut the blog down but God no "free" me.  It's been a lot of "Dear Inthes" for a while so  to show my gratitude for your patience, I decided to do a  blog series on soul ties***

Ok, let's get down to it....

                                            ......Soul Ties....


...and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh (Mark 10 vs 8).

Soul Ties..
Have you heard of them?  Yeah, me too. Actually, I've gone a step further and actually witnessed it in a very close friend of mine. I bet if you asked a hundred people what a soul tie is, you'll probably get a hundred different definitions; here's mine:  a soul tie is a situation where one person is in an emotional obsession with another to a point of mental,  physical or spiritual harm. Now  I say an " emotional obsession" because they don't have to be in a relationship to be in a soul tie. A girl can be obsessed with her ex and a guy with someone else's wife. Here's an example I wrote about a while back; oh by the way, here's an update on  Labake... She finally left her man, is remarried and just had a baby a few months ago. She is beyond happy!  It's taken God, the love of a good man and a journey of grace to bring her to this point; the point of freedom. By the way, until recent, her ex-husband was still asking her to come back "home".

 Laura and I have imprisoned each other

When you are on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication just to cope in a relationship, girlfriend you're in a soul tie! Before you tell me that's too far fetched  to be true,  it happened to my cousin. Once upon a time, a young na├»ve girl threw caution ( and sense...and God's word... and all advice...I could go on but I digress) to the wind and fell in love...hard....very hard... with a boy all wrong for her.  With actions and promises...the deeper  she fell, the tighter the bond; the soul tie.

Have you ever heard of a girl too in love with her ex to move on, even though the ex is now married with children? Yeah? That's a soul tie!

The dilemma is this; love is strong, powerful and passionate, how does a girl know if she's in love or in a soul tie?

C Family

 Let's look at an analogy....

Floods are strong. They will do what they are called to do. They don't know mother or father...they have an agenda and they complete it.  Agreed? ok, let's move on.

What would happen if I could harness the power of a flood and release it on a dry and barren land? It will overwhelm the dryness and bring life to the area. Did it do it because I asked it too or because it felt sorry for me? No! It did it because it is a flood and that's what floods do.

Hurricane

What would happen if I released the same flood over a market? It would totally decimate the place right? but why? Doesn't it care that it is destroying things? Nope! it's doing what its created to do.

Inthe, what's your point?

                                                  .... Calm down and wait for it.

Let me tell you.. Whether you are in a God destined relationship, or in a relationship with Lucifer himself...Love is, and will forever remain strong. It can kill you just as quickly as it gives you wings. it can shield you from the fires of hell or deliver you directly into it.  it can make you wish a day never ends just as quickly as make you pray never to see another one. I kid you not... Love is that powerful. The only thing that makes it good or bad is who you are sharing it with.

( I sense a tangent coming on...bear with me)

 God is Love

Why is love that strong? because God himself is Love. Period. Plain and simple. So you can take that love and use the force and strength of it to propel you further or abuse that love and find that same strength destroying you.

Ok, let's go back to soul ties.

So what causes Soul ties? How do they start? Let's talk about it.

1)Sex.
  
Let me "loud" this one for you...

One of the greatest instigators of soul ties is sex. The almighty sex. I'll be blunt, I loved the hubster before we got married but I truly fell in love with him after we started having sex. There, I said it! Don't be shocked about it; and its not because of the physicality of it ( uhm, although that helps... *hides face*) more influential is the spiritual aspect of it.
 Ferguson Solidarity March NYC 11-25-14

Let me tell you and tell you bluntly, having sex with another human being creates a soul tie. I know my generation is famous for casual sex and we like to act like sexing anything that moves is some kind of accolade or something to be proud of but while you're uselessing your body for a few moments of pleasure, you're creating everlasting soul ties.
 Where there's smoke, there's fire. They are soulmates

  Remember that example with the river? Yeah? Ok, replace  the word river with sex.  Sex is a force you can use for your benefit or you can watch destroy you.

Yes, you heard right,

       ......destroy you.
                           
                                                                                        ( to be continued.....)

Musings from atop the potter's wheel....