Look not unto man…
Psalm 121 vs 1
I will lift up my eyes to the hills-- From whence comes my help?
The beauty of hindsight is that it lets you look back and learn from things you previously overlooked. It has been a while since I made the best decision of my life- to give my life to Jesus; and lately I find myself looking back at my redemption story….looking and finding things I failed to see while I was going through it.
All those who are close to me and know of my salvation knows that it was a time of intense pain. It was a period in time that I thought I would never get through…The emotional pain I was going through was what laid me down sleep at night, and the first thing that woke me up in the morning. In my head I was saying “yes Lord, do as you please” but physically I was saying “what can I do to get out of this…” I really didn’t care what God was teaching or trying to tell me, all I knew was that unless it was pleasant, the message wasn’t for me.
So in my pride and stubbornness, I started looking for shortcuts through my trial. I went from pastor, to reverend, to father, to priest… anyone who could say the right thing, pray the right prayer or show me the scripture that would stop the pain. Unfortunately (but now I see fortunately), no one had any answers or quick healing schemes for me.
It took me almost 2 years to realize why my shortcuts weren’t working; it wasn’t working because I was looking unto man…
I was the silly daughter of Israel who Prophet Isaiah was describing when he said
¶ Woe to them that go down to Egypt for help; and stay on horses, and trust in chariots, because they are many; and in horsemen, because they are very strong; but they look not unto the Holy One of Israel, neither seek the LORD!
I had gone down to Egypt to escape my pain without given thought to my creator or the reasons why I was in this trial….God wanted me to lift my eyes unto him because he was where it all began. He was the one who had come down from his throne of grace to save me and he wanted me to know that he was enough.
Psalm 73:25 Who have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee
God brought me to the very end of myself, and it was here, where I ended, that he began! Freedom, salvation and love!
…musings from atop the potter’s wheel