Monday, December 13, 2010

The Game of Love: Win or Lose!

Originally uploaded by benegizer
An afternoon of video games is definitely a pleasure; especially when it is a game that involves races and adventures. Hubby and I have the love for videos games in common but that common interest ends with the fact that his favorite video games are football (soccer to America) games. Uggh, I don’t know how hubby can get so excited, so animated, so revitalized from a football game that actually doesn’t exist! But he does….and because he does; I do as well, well sort of.

We have heard about being a helpmeet to our husbands; a constant companion always praying, fighting for, respecting and loving our men fiercely with all we have within us but one aspect that the church sometimes ignores is the need to be our husband’s best friend.

Proverbs 14 vs 1 says “A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands.”

Already in my very young marriage I have learnt that a wife determines the tone of the home. As much as my husband needs me to be a nurturer, helpmeet, supporter, prayer partner and confidante, that’s not ALL my job description reads. I am also called to be a friend! A good ol’ fashion “buddy”, “pal”, “homegirl” or anything you’ll like to call it. People who know my husband and I well are used to seeing us tease each other, chasing ourselves through the house and even playing pranks on each other.

I remember my mom telling me how important it was to be my husband’s best friend and how she has lived this... My dad loves cars! When he was younger, he would look for reasons to tinker with his car and I remember many weekends he would be in the drive way oiled stained and under his car trying to fix one thing or another. My mother told me that while they were dating, my mom would spend hours with my dad just talking with him while he “fixed” his car… handing him a spanner here and holding a bolt there. Was my mom interested in all that stuff? Absolutely Not!! but she knew the importance of being a friend as well as a lover.

Proverbs 18 vs 24: There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Being a friend is not all about video games and good times; it is also about being there when things are tough and painful. Most men, depending on the situation might run to another male in search for advice; I do realize that at times this is necessary for no one can teach a man how to be godly except another godly man; but at times men would rather talk to someone else because they cannot confide in their wives. Not to say that their wives are uncaring but being the emotional creatures we are, some men are afraid of the consequences.

So let me ask you: are you your husband’s best friend; a non judgmental patient listening ear? There may be times when your husband will need you to listen to his problems not as a hot tempered or emotional ear but as someone who can hold back a little and objectively tackle an issue with him. Of course we cannot do this by any strength of our own. We need to constantly seek power from its source in order to be strong enough to be non condemning especially when you feel you have every right to be.

James 5 vs 16: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

For example, I know of couples who have made vows to each other if one ever gets sexually tempted or even mildly attracted to anyone of the opposite sex. For this to work, obviously a wife must be able to isolate certain parts of her emotion in order to serve her husband for the betterment of the family. This way rather than a third person be privy into their personal lives, a couple can arm up and go to battle together.

So here I am, playing a video game I thought I wasn’t interested in but as I watch hubby smile… that infectious sweet smile…I know and pray deep in my heart for many many more.

…musings from atop the potter’s wheel


Chichi {From Now Till I Do} said...

This post is spot on. I often ask myself this question. Being newlyweds we are still adjusting but as we grow together I want us to continue to grow closer, continue to be each other's confidant, supporter and friend.

And yes like you said, it starts with the little things. My hubby too loves football, and because he does I want to understand it and share that time with him. I think he appreciates it.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

In the midst of her said...

Hey Chichi... I am a newly wed(18 mths)too but I have learnt that the " getting to know you" part DOES NOT end with "I DO"... Keep on "dating" your husband...LOL. Thanks for stopping by!