When I was an S4 (Self Sufficient Single Sista), one word that used to make my skin sizzle... that made my hair stand on edge...that made me gag....that made me...(Get the picture..hehe) was the word "Submission"
Me...a whole me... submitting to a man? Who is the man and who is his father? Did his mother give birth to him in mid air, or what made him special?
What is one of the biggest issues new wives of my generation face? Submission!
Leadership within the home is a big issue amongst the church today and I remember early on in our marriage, Hubby and I have had many sessions of “heated fellowships” *wink* over certain issues. At these moments, I am at a crossroad, where I could either argue/pout/fight to have my way (you’re looking at the undefeated secondary school debating champion…I could debate an ice cube into thinking fire was good for it) or I could humble myself and accept his leadership over me.
Leadership over ME?
Ephesians 5 vs 25 (NLT) You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior.
Submission…sure I had heard of this but…but…surely God doesn’t mean submitting in everything, even over the clothes I wear? To my husband? But isn’t he just a mortal like me?
For many, submission to their husband is a big pill to swallow, not only for the fact that it is not natural for the flesh to deny itself of desires but also because it is one of the most misconstrued concepts preached at the pulpit. Women hear submission and all they imagine is their husbands saying “Jump” and they blindly saying “How high sir”. We are afraid to be rendered voiceless, virtually powerless over issues in our own lives. We wonder if we are even allowed to think and have opinions of our own because doing so would be “unsubmissive”.
It's no secret...we've been hurt while on our knees
Submission is also additionally difficult for women coming from abusive pasts. They have had fathers/brothers/boyfriends who have taken advantage of them and subsequently, they view submission as a new excuse for their bodies to be bruised; their emotions toyed with, their hearts broken.
After digging deep in the word and much counseling from other wives deep in the word, my understanding changed and I realised submission was placed in marriage to remind husbands they had so much to accomplish for the Lord through their wives and children.
Confused? Let me break it down…
Ladies, do we really understand the responsibility of being a husband?
Ephesians 5: 25-29 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.
This is but a brief job description of a husband and as we can see leadership isn’t exactly a bed of roses right? Scripture tells us that Christ, the head or husband of the church, his bride and is in heaven advocating for us. Christ took on the responsibility as a leader and look what it took; him taking on flesh, being ridiculed, hungry, hated, abused and finally killed…all for the sake of his bride. The only way, a husband can fulfill these tasks is if he has a partner who not only accepts his calling but who is also there to help him achieve it.
This scripture revealed to me that if I could not submit to my husband, there was no way I could fully submit to God and the figurative “scales fell from my eyes”. So here I am… everyday, striving to be more submissive and letting hubby step forward to the calling of responsibility God has placed on him. At times, it’s hard to uncurl my fingers from the control wheel but I learn daily. Let me be the first to tell you that I am far from being perfect or snapping my fingers at the fact that “I have arrived”. I take each day as they come looking to God for strength, my husband for his love and everyday, it becomes a tad bit easier.
...muings from atop the potters wheel