Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My Criteria...the measure of a man. { Part 1}

Measuring tape

I was asked by a faithful reader how to I chose my hubby... I will honestly share with you the criteria I set for myself.

Funny fact: First thing I said when I was introduced to hubby was " Not in a million yrs..." a beautiful baby and a blissful 1.5 yrs later I still laugh at my naivete. ( Might do a post on that later...*wink*)

I won't go into toooo much details but I will like to share the standards I set before myself (Disclaimer: It wasn't an easy process, my flesh was in constant battle with my spirit because there were some senseless things I wanted in a man and it was hard letting them go for God) and I hope it will show my single ladies ways we can choose a man that pleases God and follows his commandments. So let me introduce you all to my 1 Tim man.

...and the room echos "1 Tim man???"

1 Timothy 3 is a chapter in the bible in which Paul tells the Timothy what to look for in an elder of the church. I had always thought that if God desires this in a man who was going to lead the church, then it def wouldn't hurt to have the same criteria in my hubby.

Vs 1: It is a true saying that if someone wants to be an elder, [fn] he desires an honorable responsibility.

Mentally replace "elder" with "husband"

First of all does the guy you are looking at even want to get married. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about guys who meet you at 5am and propose at 5.45 am. I mean is this a guy who is open to being a relationship with the intentions of getting married. Too often I meet girls who think they have the prowess to change men. The guy just want dey do "fine boy" around town but we swear our or whatever is capable of changing this guy's heart.

Umm....say this with me....YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE A MAN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Only God can.

So you sit there, hoping and praying he'll come around till you turn into
WaiTinG 4 tHe PeRfEct MAN !!!

This is not the way!

Vs 2: For an elder must be a man whose life cannot be spoken against. He must be faithful...exhibit self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation...

*Sigh* Where do I even begin with this is chock full of wisdom.

Ladies, a man... not just one namely because of his gender...but a true man is known when seen; the only problem is that we tend to be blinded by other things. Sometimes looks are valued above love, money above maturity and Sex above Sense. Does your man have a life that is beyond reproach? I have a cousin...a guy... all you have to do is stand in the middle of our state and mention his first name, and he is automatically known for the car he drives,the money he flashes and unfortunately the hearts he has broken. Can you introduce your man in public and still hold your head up high or will you have throngs of girls able to tell you your man's favorite food, what kind of aftershave he wears and what color his sheets are. A true man will have a lifestyle above reproach, not saying without mistake but one who lives his life on a low key.

Another question you need to ask is if your man has self control. Let me get Uncle Webster to help me out on this one..

Self Control: restraint exercised over one's own impulses, emotions, or desires

Does this sound like your man...Can he resist temptation when you are not around? Or are his eyes glued to have female thing that crosses his path. Does he flirt? Have about 1000 female friends and 1 male friend.


Does he need to have the latest Prada shirt, Gucci Jeans, Hummer or IPAD 2 just because it is out there. Now trust me I love when my hubby looks good! He works hard and deserves to play hard but you will never catch him putting the want of something over his family. I recently saw a documentary of a guy in Italy with family in his home country of Morocco. He said he barely sent money to his wife and kid because he likes to eat in restaurants and at the end of the month, there is barely anything to send.


To be continued....


...musings from atop the potter's wheel...


Jaycee said...

You're so GOOD with acronyms like SOTU meeting and 1 Tim Man that'll it will take a great deal to forget them. LOL. I LOVE THEM!!!

Lol @ " I am not talking about guys who meet you at 5am and propose at 5.45 am."

That picture of the ducks looks hilarious.

This is definitely one of my best posts, because it captures your sense of humour and seriousness at the same time.

oluSimeon said...

I'm enjoying this ..
Thank you

Anonymous said...

Very important topic; thanks for talking about this, I am looking forward to the remaining part of the article. God bless you for the great job.

sweetandsensible said...

I really enjoyed reading this, I actually came back to get a good look at it again........looking foward to the rest and thanking God for revealing this wisdom to you to share......

In the midst of her said...

Jaycee:Thanks so much ... my mind works in weird

OluSimeon: My first Male reader! Thanks

Anonymous: The 2nd part will be here soon...stay tuned (how

SnS:God bless you! Thanks for the encouragement!

Kemi said...

Oh wow! I love this post. Thank you for writing it. I love the angle you've taken to it. For me I find it people to easily quote Prov 31 but in practicality marriage is a partnership and if the other partner is not moving in your direction you'll never get there. The other side (i.e the hubby) is also important! So I'm glad you took that verse in 1 Timothy, it was such an inspired idea.

I agree with everything you wrote so much I don't even know where to start. Once again, thanks for writing it.

Anonymous said...

Hey, this is baby sis. I thought the perfect man picture was funny. Good job all around!

In the midst of her said...

Kemi- Thanks!

Sis...If you are on my blog,who's watching my son?!.lol..thanks!

Daughter of Her King said...

Firs time here.. waving with love..

Ur blog sounds exciting already, found it through Unveiling gold..

You definitely are hitting the nails on the head with the points and I love the bible chapter for back up. Am off to reading on that... I am learning (jumping for joy cos that what I love to do).

Will continue reading and following..

do visit me sometime.. thanks..

God bless u.


Damilola - From my point of view said...

Thank you so much for this post. I re-blogged it on my blog. i hope its alright. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

Hello Inthe...this is my first time here, i don't usually read much on spiritual blogs, but i was drawn to yours after clicking your link on twitter. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pagan, I love God. Yesterday morning i came across a tweet that said if you begin a relationship with being physical i.e. sex, God ignores you when you ask him if the person you're with is the one. This really upset me because even though i know i didn't begin my relationship with God, i pray constantly for His will to be done. My man is very much like the 1 Tim man, which is what attracted me to him in the first place although i didn't know at the time. I just want you to know that this post has somehow put me at peace. I believe God directed me here because i clicked two links before i got here. I would love if you had any extra advice for me from what I've said above. Thank you and God bless you Inthe!

In the midst of her said...

Hey Anony (@1.21a)
Thank you so much for writing and I share in your faith that God brought you here. I would love to speak with you more on your situation but I need to know a bit more. Could you pls write me at Looking forward to hearing from you...

ebuka ejinkonye said...

thanks ma, a man..this is rilli Grt for me,, gonna keep the mirror of this 1 tim 3 b4 me and I will do and put it all to work....

Damiloves said...

I have nominated your for the Blogger Recognition Award, I hope you accept.