I was asked by a faithful reader how to I chose my hubby... I will honestly share with you the criteria I set for myself.
Funny fact: First thing I said when I was introduced to hubby was " Not in a million yrs..." a beautiful baby and a blissful 1.5 yrs later I still laugh at my naivete. ( Might do a post on that later...*wink*)
I won't go into toooo much details but I will like to share the standards I set before myself (Disclaimer: It wasn't an easy process, my flesh was in constant battle with my spirit because there were some senseless things I wanted in a man and it was hard letting them go for God) and I hope it will show my single ladies ways we can choose a man that pleases God and follows his commandments. So let me introduce you all to my 1 Tim man.
...and the room echos "1 Tim man???" ...lol
1 Timothy 3 is a chapter in the bible in which Paul tells the Timothy what to look for in an elder of the church. I had always thought that if God desires this in a man who was going to lead the church, then it def wouldn't hurt to have the same criteria in my hubby.
Vs 1: It is a true saying that if someone wants to be an elder, [fn] he desires an honorable responsibility.
Mentally replace "elder" with "husband"
First of all does the guy you are looking at even want to get married. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about guys who meet you at 5am and propose at 5.45 am. I mean is this a guy who is open to being a relationship with the intentions of getting married. Too often I meet girls who think they have the prowess to change men. The guy just want dey do "fine boy" around town but we swear our love...beauty...bodies...trust or whatever is capable of changing this guy's heart.
Umm....say this with me....YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE A MAN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Only God can.
So you sit there, hoping and praying he'll come around till you turn into
This is not the way!
Vs 2: For an elder must be a man whose life cannot be spoken against. He must be faithful...exhibit self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation...
*Sigh* Where do I even begin with this part...it is chock full of wisdom.
Ladies, a man... not just one namely because of his gender...but a true man is known when seen; the only problem is that we tend to be blinded by other things. Sometimes looks are valued above love, money above maturity and Sex above Sense. Does your man have a life that is beyond reproach? I have a cousin...a guy... all you have to do is stand in the middle of our state and mention his first name, and he is automatically known for the car he drives,the money he flashes and unfortunately the hearts he has broken. Can you introduce your man in public and still hold your head up high or will you have throngs of girls able to tell you your man's favorite food, what kind of aftershave he wears and what color his sheets are. A true man will have a lifestyle above reproach, not saying without mistake but one who lives his life on a low key.
Another question you need to ask is if your man has self control. Let me get Uncle Webster to help me out on this one..
Self Control: restraint exercised over one's own impulses, emotions, or desires
Does this sound like your man...Can he resist temptation when you are not around? Or are his eyes glued to have female thing that crosses his path. Does he flirt? Have about 1000 female friends and 1 male friend.
Does he need to have the latest Prada shirt, Gucci Jeans, Hummer or IPAD 2 just because it is out there. Now trust me I love when my hubby looks good! He works hard and deserves to play hard but you will never catch him putting the want of something over his family. I recently saw a documentary of a guy in Italy with family in his home country of Morocco. He said he barely sent money to his wife and kid because he likes to eat in restaurants and at the end of the month, there is barely anything to send.
To be continued....
...musings from atop the potter's wheel...