Monday, March 28, 2011

My Criteria...the measure of a man. { Part 2}

Love Beyond Measure

Hey Ladies.... This is the 2nd part of my "measure of a man" write up. On the first part,I got a lot of positive feedback for which I am grateful for but before I continue; let me re-iterate a fact; while I did use the bible to gauge Hubby, it was by NO means an easy process. I do not want you ladies thinking it was a piece of cake. There was a lot of turmoil because though I knew the right to do, it was still hard to do. It took a lot of prayer, tears and guidance.....Be it far from me to act like I got it all on lock down

Whew! Now that that`s over....back to the post! Hehe


Vs 3:He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, peace loving, and not one who loves money.

Drunk and Homeless, Guildford

Need I elaborate on this one? Basically, don't marry Remi I wont insult your intelligence by thinking you need more than that.

Vs 4:He must manage his own family well, with children who respect and obey him.


First of all, is he mature enough to lead a family?. Can you actually see yourself being submissive to him, respecting his leadership and if the situation calls for it obeying when you strongly feel in opposition? These are important questions that shouldn't be left on the back burner till it becomes an issue later on.

What's his take on family and having children. Do you want to have 1 while he wants you to have 10 or vice versa? Does he believe in disciplining a child.
Father & son


Vs 6:An elder must not be a new Christian, because he might be proud of being chosen so soon, and the Devil will use that pride to make him fall.

For this, mentally replace "new Christian" with "Newly single"

Even within the church, there are brothers who go around as my sister once said "collecting a jar of hearts"(Sister,Sister, 2011). Today he says how God placed Sis Yemi on his heart and then the next day he states he saw Sis Carol in a Vision. He walks around getting to know a bunch of sisters at the same time stirring up emotions he has no plans of following through on. The problem is that a new Christian might not necessarily know how to distinguish between the voice of God and the voice of his own heart. Also a new Christian/Newly single might not have spent enough time stabilizing and rooting himself in the word so marriage might not be the appropriate next step. Am I saying if a New Christian is interested in you run to the hills? NO! but if you are interested in him,take some time to get to know him, see where he stands, pray and follow God`s prompting.

47/365 - Jar of Hearts


Another issue is fake "Church brothers"! Hubby told me how a lot of guys, after wasting their lives and having all the fun their bodies can handle, realize that it's time to get married....so off to church they merrily go. They speak the lingo, raise their hands during a couple of songs,shed tears at the appropriate time (Oh how we women love men who are "not afraid to show their emotions") and flash a smile to the sisters in church. As soon as they lure a sister away, they then show their true colors. Ladies be on alert!


vs 7:Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. Likewise [must] the deacons [be] grave, not double tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

- I think these points have been mentioned in previous verses... Let's move on.


vs 10,13:And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being [found] blameless...For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

I like the word "proved". Ladies let the guy prove himself worthy of what you are about to give him; your heart.

Him: Hey can I ask you a question?
Her ( Eyes wide)...yes...sure...definitely... go ahead... I am all ears..Don't be nervous, you can ask me anything... you know I understand you and we've been friends forever... so be brave...ask me!
Him: Oooook...Umm, I was just going to ask if you knew what time it was.

Lol...Repeat after me. " Stalking not allowed..."

the corner

No matter how much you like him, let him prove himself by being an initiator of a relationship. There is no question, if a man knows what he wants, he will go HARD after it. We don't need to do their jobs for them. The way a man approaches you, toasts you and initiates a relationships speaks TONS about the man he is and will continue to be. Read him like a book girl!

Side note: To all my ladies who are like me and find the "only men should initiate" rule a hard pill to swallow (I swallow it nonetheless); do you know there are ways to show your interest and " help a brother out" without even saying a word? Think about it...lol



The last verse I want to talk about and purposely skipped over is verse 11. This is a verse I intend to do a whole post and the conclusion to this series on. Once again ladies (and random gentleman)...stay tuned!


see you soon

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...

4 comments:

H said...

lol...at stalking is not allowed...and there are other ways to show interest...

Jaycee said...

Definitely, there are those church brothers who pretend they love God just to lure women. Didn't Jesus Himself warn us about 'wolves in sheep's clothing'? That's the definition, and women should be on the look-out. :)

Loved the part 2. It shows that you put a lot of thought into it, even without telling us. Thanks :)

Yankeenaijababe said...

Great post girl, very serious points listed there which everyone needs to know, there are many many fake believers out there in the form of men and women.

How have you been? I hope all is well...miss ya

In the midst of her said...

Thanks Ladies!