I've had my heart
As I slowly moved on, picking the pieces of my life up again; I slowly felt better day by day but the pain never really left. I was stronger but there was still a piece of me that was damaged and I just accepted this pain as something I would have to bear for the rest of my life. People have always told me that I am very easy to talk too and even within my sorrow God did not take that gift away from me. Women were still drawn to me and with the little new strength I felt, I made it a point to search for opportunities to be an encouragement to women whenever I got the chance. I loved being friends with the outcast, the broken and hurting but I never voiced the fact that I knew how they felt because I had gone through what they were going through. They would tell me how much they admired my strength but they did not know the truth.
One day, I met a girl, who is one of my closest friends,literally the very first day I met her, 2 hrs later, she was pouring her heart out to me. I dont know why she told me her life but it happened and before we knew it, she was crying hysterically. Her tears made the dam within me break and at that very hour, I told her my own story. I said "This bold,supposedly strong woman you see here has lived life at the very lowest and if God could turn me around and make me something to be "admired and desired", imagine what God could do to you!" Guess what, as I began to share my story with girls going through the same, God began healing me! With every time I told my story I began to understand the purpose of what I went through. Why did God let me go through what I did? In order to share my story and show someone else that there is survival after heart ache. That she is not the first person to believe that life was unlivable just because someone walked out on her....That's why! But I had to open my mouth to get that healing, I had to take that first step and start sharing.
Now, dont get me wrong I dont go around saying " hey, my name is Inthe... and I have been heartbroken, how are you?" but when I sense that someone needs to hear my story and how far God has brought me, I no longer run from it. That piece of me that I mentioned earlier, you know, the one I said was damaged, in bondage, in shame of my past; well, to the glory of God, he has completely redeemed it but this still doesn't stop me from reaching out and still telling my story!
So ladies, please open your heart and speak. Let us break this wall of cultural silence we have built around us!
Share your story! Somebody needs to hear it. Somebody needs to know that someone else has gone through the exact same thing and survived. That 16 year old girl needs to know that She is not the only Virgin in this world, that 26 year old girl needs to know that she is not beyond the marriageable age, that 35 year old woman needs to know that she is not the only one who spends her nights on her knees praying for a child. That 45 year old woman needs to know that she is not the only woman whose husband has strayed...TELL YOUR STORY!
Matt 5 vs 41: Then He took the child by the hand, and said to her, "Talitha, cumi," which is translated, "Little girl, I say to you, arise!"
...musings from atop the potter's wheel...