Thursday, August 18, 2011

Count the cost

Luke 14 vs 28-30 (NLT):But don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?

I don't care too much for money......

Marriage Season has come and gone! Whew! For those of us who live in Northern America, April-August is marriage season and depending on how many female friends you have, you probably spent this whole summer in headties and I love weddings, as a single woman it gave me something to look forward too and as a married woman, it takes me on a stroll down memory lane.

As a female, but especially as a nigerian female, I know how important Marriage is. It's a part of life that your mom, grand mom, aunties, cousins and the random stranger down the road are all waiting for and the closer you get to the dreaded 30 without prospects, the more drama occurs.

Mother: Yinka d'oju timi. M'oko wale!! ( Yinka, please!! Dont disgrace me, bring a husband home)

As the last glass of champagne is being drunk, the last piece of cake eaten, the last gift opened; I wonder how many brides really understand the cost of marriage.

Yup, you heard right...THE COST!

In every part of your life, something has to give. You can not live the same identical life as a single and married woman. As a working wife and mom, I wake up early and sleep late; I do unimaginable loads of laundry every week, dinner every night and many times, I find myself rocking baby boy to sleep on my back late into the night. I study ( yes, doctors are eternal students) in between bottle making, cartoon watching and I have mastered scheduling pediatrician appointments into my already hectic schedule. All the while being sensitive enough to spend time with the hubster and not leaving him on the back burner.No complaints (well...some tiny ones now and

This is my life and to be honest; I LOVE IT. Only because I already did my math and counted the cost beforehand! EVERYTHING from when I walked down the isle, to getting pregnant 3 months into my marriage was planned with God and the hubster; so while peeps tell me I should have waited; I can honestly tell them, I did my arithmetic before plunging in.


I hear a lot of new wives complaining about how marriage has changed everything. How their hubbies disapprove of their weekly girls night out. How he complains about how he misses her home cooked food (Some men can't live on takeout every night); how he likes to know when she'll be back home making her miss happy hour with her co-workers. She wants to go to every birthday, naming ceremony, and graduation and will buy every lace "anko" that goes with every event. Its hard for her to understand why she can't use her hard earned money to buy that Gucci bag she's been eyeing for 6 months...after all, its coming out of her paycheck abi!!

One thing that is absolutely true about marriage is that it consumes your time. No longer are you thinking only about yourself, you have more responsibility and if you don't know by now, let me tell you; your home life is your new priority and should be treated as such. Wait.. Wait before you lynch me: I am NOT saying, as a married woman you wont have any "you" time; you must because that is equally important for your marriage but I am saying there will definitely be a shift in responsibilities and priorities when compared to your single life. Don't fight it; Embrace it! If you are having difficulties adjusting speak to God, speak to your hubby and this will help come to some compromise.

Luke 14 vs 29-30: ...Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you.They would say, 'There's the person who started that building and couldn't afford to finish it!

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...


H said...

Very lovely post. I totally agree...

Giagerry said...

"Don't fight it; Embrace it!"---I have long ago agreed to this statement, and I have learned the priority change that comes with marriage(and diff stages of life too). Really like you said no need to fight it, I feel alot of pple try to fight it and I believe its way easier to embrace it then enjoy it.
I really like the post.
Hmm dint know u were a doctor! :)

Yankeenaijababe said...

I love this post knowing it talks a lot about marriage and the change that comes with it. You are so right that marriage isn't about you anymore but more like your "home,husband and kids" becomes new priority. You are doing a great job my sister o, with the baby and work , great job! it's not easy to be super mummy but don't forget to spoil and do you sometimes.

Myne Whitman said...

Great post, I couldn't agree more.

In the midst of her said...

H: Thanks!

GG: They try and fight it because they really didn't stop to think of marriage as a new chapter. Embracing it makes things much easier. OH, btw...Yes, ma'am I am a doctor.

YNC:Thanks for the compliment- I can do all things through Christ. "Me" time is sooooooo valuable and should not be overlooked either

Myne: Thanks!!!

enybees-hub said...

I so agree with this post,its awesome and I've learned from it too

Jaycee said...

I love this. Thanks, T :)

Anonymous said...

This is very true! My fellow spinster pls to your arithmetic well. Nice post more grace to your elbow.