Saturday, September 03, 2011

What do they see?

Heb 12 vs 1 (NLT):"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses..."


Hubby and I have found good friends in another couple we know. Actually the hubster and the couple were friends and after he and I became a couple, I slowly but surely became friends with them as well. Now they are a couple in love; without question and I love being around them. Well, the wife has a nickname she calls her man and for some weird reason I unconsciously started calling him the same nickname and before you know it the hubster and I started calling him this name as well.

Hmmm.. what if she was calling him "bastard"; would I have adopted that and called him that as well? Probably not, but if she was treating him as such; I probably would have unconsciously picked that up as well...

Ladies, let NO ONE fool you; you relationship with you husband is a spectator sport and EVERYONE is watching and even going as far as keeping score. When you are out in public, your verbal and body language is being picked and the way you treat your man is most definitely noticed. My mom always told me " Owo to ba fi gboko ni aye ma fi ba e gbe."(Mother dearest, 2010) which means, " The manner with which you carry your husband is the same way the world will treat him" so if they treat your man like garbage outside the house, your peeps, his peeps and strangers you meet will treat him as such.

How does this play out in everyday life?

I am allowed to be 2-faced whenever I need too! For example, when going out I could be majorly pissed off for one reason or another; I am talking "spitting fire-take cover-about to lose my mind" kinda of anger, but when the hubster and I step onto the scene...Gen gen!, its all laughs and giggles, lovey dovey, whispers of love, sly touches and hand holding.

Ok Why? Am I trying to make people envy me? Absolutely not, I am doing it to keep my marriage intact. Let me explain...If I got to the party pissed, gave the hubster the silent treatment with a stank face all night on, maybe going as far as raising my voice or storming out; well 2 things would happen.

1-I would look stupid, embarrass myself and my husband, and when we got home, one way or the other hubby and I would make up, I would apologize, cook for him, pamper him, make love to him blah blah blah and it would be all good in the hood...

....SCREEECH... but what about the impression I left at the party...well that's number 2

2- People would think I am stupid, People would feel embarrassed for the hubster, people would remember every dirty look and cold shoulder I gave him, our marriage would look like trash, hubby's would say I am a man eater and have castrated the hubster....blah blah blah... not knowing the fight lasted 2 hours and as we speak, the hubster and I are cuddling on a couch watching

You see that's the impression people would have of my relationship and it would be the first thing they remember next time they see us.

Prov 31:23 (NLT):"Her husband is well known at the city gates..."

Is your husband known at the city gates? in our modern times that could be his job, church, amongst your friends, within your family etc. What is he known for? Is he known for being a fool, a man with no ambitions, a man who can't satisfy his woman financially, emotionally or sexually? A weak man or a man who has no say in his household? Or is he known as a king, a leader in his household, the protector of all things his, a strong, loving self sacrificing guy who is 10 times better than his peers?

Couple Holding Hands

I want my husband to leave our home everyday feeling like a million bucks, walking on clouds and strong enough to face the world with all the confidence he needs; life is tough enough as it is; he doesnt need any extra toughness coming from me.

To be continued...

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...


Lil Miss Thang said...

nice... and very true

Destiny - Yankeenaijachick + Success said...

OMG! This post is very inspiring and what I think of most days, it looks like we are in the same mindset on this one. I always imagined that and it's so true, your man is treated the way the wife presents herself and him in public.

People tend to have a lot of respect for my hubby when they see the way I talk about him, he's truly a leader in my life

Ms. Yellow Sisi Unspoken said...

well it...there is no need to invite unwanted visitors into a marriage and that will come if the couple carries themselves in a negative way

Jaycee said...


1 + The One said...

I believe in treating your husband like a KING, irrespective of how you feel about him at that time.
It's a tall order especially when you feel really upset at him, so much respect to you (and of course mother dearest) for carrying it through.
Also, I have observed and learnt that the more you do it, the more it becomes a habit for you so it becomes almost taboo to treat him otherwise xx

Akibo tommie said...

I honestly wish i had found your blog earlier, i mean alot earlier... but then Better late than never right?

In the midst of her said...

Tommie: Better late than never *Wink*. thanks for the blog love!!