Wednesday, November 23, 2011

What Love isn't...

1- Sex
..."I'm leaving cuz the sex does nothing for me...", "Me? Marry a Virgin ke? God forbid, they don't even know what they are doing"... "If you love me, you'll be willing to show me"..."He is a Virgin? Ah! You better pick race ooh, something must be wrong with him"...( and my personal favorite)"Shebi, we are going to get married eventually, so us starting early is not a sin

True Love Waits

If I had $0.25 for every time this rubbish has been spoken, I would be rich. Why do we equate Love and Sex as the same thing? Let me tell you, you could live a million lifetimes without sex, but you wouldn't last just one without love. I have been blessed with so many "baby sisters-in-the Lord" and it's amazing to see how caught up they are in the fantasy of what sex and their wedding day will be like;(I am not hating, I was exactly like them when I was Thanks to the lie making machine called Media; we all have pre-concieved notions on what it has to be like between the sheets. Depending on how...ummmh..."exposed" you've been visually or physically, you start developing standards or expectations for your future mate, without even meeting them yet. How unfair is that nonsense. So you spend your days pre-occupied with the S word, you get married, can't wait to jump into it and when it's all said and done, reality slaps you in the face....depending on the person you married, yoiu might be completely turned off it! After all if you spend the whole day fighting over bills, children, the in-laws and any other issue you were previously blind too, you think you will be in the mood for Sex? Unh-Unh...I don't think so!

PS:Shout all to my peeps (especially men) out there taking a stand for purity in a world where it's viewed as weak or stupid. God sees you and will honor this step of obedience...

2- An emotion
I don't feel it anymore man! When I first met him, i thought about him 24/7, nowadays I can barely feel the heat anymore!
Emotion mix
I have found out that Love is an action not an emotion. Want me to prove it? Ok, think about your life, have you CONSTANTLY lived in 1 emotion? As in, can you remember a time where you where happy/sad/angry 24hours straight? if you are honest, you'll say no because emotions fluctuate. You're pissed one sec, then happy the next and then something else. If you see love as another emotion, you'll see it fluctuate also in your life. I don't wait to "feel the love"; I make it happen and determine it in my heart to love the hubster EVERYDAY. It is not easy because we are flawed human beings and some days are harder than the next but I trust God that as I speak my love into my marriage, so shall it be.

3- A group activity
"...Enh, I love Tosin but I also love Segun...But lately Jimoh has been weighing heavy on my mind too. I guess love just comes easy to me sha..."

three is a crowd
Last time I checked, Love wasn't a group; activity. It is absolutely unequivocally impossible to love more than one person at the same time. (Disclaimer: Love in the biblical definition, not Mills and Boons). Now i am not saying it's impossible to deleop feelings for multiple people but until you take the time to pray it through and determine what exactly that feeling is, don't call it love.

"I don't know what happened, but I am done! I just don't love him anymore. I use to feel this hot passion but now...I just don't know. I think it is time to move on. I love him but am not IN love with him"

She's leaving home..
We walk around with the expectation that love is this "bomb explosion" of butterflies and flowers and dancing in the garden and the pitter patter of your beating heart but the second this love infatuation is over, and it's time for the real work to kick in...we run! Love is hard, love takes work, Love hurts but through it all, Love is BEAUTIFUL! Infatuation/Lust might be temporary but true love isn't.

5-A power struggle
Submit wetin? I am the master of this house as well... No one is going to ride me like a horse
Power Struggle
Ok, let's just throw it out there. Men ARE God ordained Leaders of a household. Trust me as a feminist strong minded woman, I have consciously unconsciously tried to find ways around this, but I knew to accept God was to accept all God ordained authority over me. Marriage is honestly a blessing when you follow God's roadmap even when you don't agree understand.

...musings from atop the potter's wheel...


*Sweetly Broken* said...

Thanks for sharing this post I like the fact that you explained that love is an action not an emotion. It makes a lot of sense.

But, I think a lot of people mistake love to be an emotion, that's why there's a lot of people getting divorced nowadays. Those people see love as emotion, that's why when they get frustrated or whatever, they want to quit and move on.

Well, love is not a lot of things we think it is.

Unveilinggold said...

Lovely @ emotions..

Anonymous said...

Absolutely loved all the points! LOL @ 'don't agree-understand"

Jemima said...

This is so apt, love is indeed ad oing word , its not passive at all..,i always tell myself that i have to love my hubby unconditionally, i try to use the love i have for my kid as a yardstick..i think those of us that have children can relate to this your kids upset you, infuriate you, make you laugh, make you happy, sometimes you have to punish them.. but you would take a bullet for them in a heart beat ..that's love , if i am to surpass that for my hubby whom i did not birth,you better believe i need God to help me love his is the very essence of God!

Jaycee said...

The part where you asked "All your life, have you lived with one emotion?" got me cracking up. Lol. So plain to see when you put it that way.

Nenyenwa said...

:) lovely post and echoed

Abi Tobi said...

:) I love the first reason the best.. and then attention...

Please what is love??? :)

btw: I am going to write about why people decide to postpone sex till marriage... please stay tuned


This is deep! Thanks for sharing ma :)