Tuesday, May 01, 2012


Although this post should be about Sex in marriage, LDP aka Sir mi Sir ( don't ask... he knows why, lol) made a comment that prompted me to write a bit more about respect... hey, stop booing me, I'll get to the topic of Sex soon enough. LOL. I just wanted to clarify something; there isn't a "one size fits all" when it come to respecting your man. Yeah it kinda goes without saying that you shouldn't smash your man's head into the ground ( physical violence) nor read him the riot act at the drop of a dime (verbal violence) or physically/emotionally go outside the boundaries of marriage ( emotional abuse) but what about beyond that?


There are women who kneel to greet their husband while there are others who call their husbands daddy; now if I did either to the hubster, he would recoil in horror...literally. I...you... we... have to find how our husbands want to be respected. I can't do "respect" the way my MIL does it because my husband isn't his father nor can I do respect the way my mother does it, because the hubster isn't my father. Part of the intimacy of marriage is learning what your husband yearns for, what he desires and how he wants to be respected.

I know a girl ( true life story y'all), who gives her husband pedicures every weekend! as in no matter if they have  guests or not, her husband must get his weekly pedicure. Right in front of you, she'll soak his feet, cut his nails, pumice them...the whole 9yds. She doesn't care what anyone says Mehn, she does her thing!

it took me 26 years to get a pedicure.

The whole time homeboy is getting his peddy, he's cheesing away, looking lovingly at his wife. How many women can do that? Not that many and I completely respect this girl for finding what makes her man happy and feel respected.  Bottom line: respect if very subjective and varies, so do your Homework ladies and find out what your man needs and how he likes it..

Musings from atop the potter's wheel...


Okeoghene said...

Reading this just reminded me in a way of the 5 love languages by Dr. Chapman.It is important to know the love language our spouse speaks so that we can show them love in the language they understand.This can also be linked to respect cos where women say love men hear respect.


I totally agree ma. Respect cuts across cultures, personalities and even religions. We just must know how to speak the language our spouse understands... that, as you have rightly pointed out, is the key!


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Myne Whitman said...

Nice post, and I totally agree. The story about the pedicure couple got me smiling cos we do that :)

Jennifer Abayowa said...

Another GBOSA to one more post. I'm loving this Blog so much! Lol.

Dear In-The-Midst-of-Her, how many years should it take to learn our husband's love language (or respect language)? In my two years and some months of marriage I keep learning new facts. Biko, how long should it take? Lol. Does this sound like a new post? *Now crossing my fingers*

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Priscy said...

I totally agree with you on this.

How a person wants to be respected depends on a lot different factors, the upbringing, his/her experiences in life so far all factors into it. Nice one.

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