Checkmate! *Snap* * Snap* * Snap*!
He looked at me at said “Inthe…” and just grabbed me in the tightest hug ever. He stopped, looked at me again and pulled me in for another hug. I won’t lie… it was….well…heartbreaking. It was walking down memory lane all over again. Half of me loved him still as my brother but another piece of me was being tempted to manipulate that love into something else.
We had shared a lifetime together; I remember being in pry 3 and him in primary 5 and him spilling his lunch on his uniform; he spent the day with oil on his shirt and it was hilarious. I remember almost a decade of christmas and new years at each other’s house getting into trouble and having fun. I remember being in sec school with him and watching him develop into the “cool, popular guy”….I remember….how he had fit into every frame of my life.
Well, you know us 9ja’s… the wedding was a 3 day event and we spent that time, talking, reminiscing over our childhood and catching up but we made sure never to broach the topic of him wanting to marry me. The hubster and Babyboy stayed at home so he respectfully asked of the hubster ( never calling him by name…lol) and my son and congratulated me for becoming a doctor.
It was safe and sweet until a weird scene happened. While we were taking bridal party pics when an older lady came up to me. She said
“ Do you see that guy over there?” ( Pointing at him…”)
“Yes, why what’s wrong” I asked
“I don’t mean to offend you but please be careful around him. I don’t know if you know this but he is in love with you”
(Keeping my cool) “ Why do you think so?”
“He has been watching every move you’ve made today, I can see it in his eyes. Dont you notice he is never more than a few steps away from you? and he is always maneuvering to sit close to you. I suggest when you are around him, hold your husband real close so he understands you are a married woman”
I thanked her for her advice and walked away; inside I was shocked because she must have been paying close attention to us.
At the end of everything, he and I had a heart to heart; we had unfinished business and couldn’t hide it anymore. It was becoming impossible to ignore the past and where we had left off the last time we saw each other. He told me through out the wedding, he kept on kicking himself in the butt thinking “ This girl could have been my wife right now if I hadn’t been so stupid”. I took a deep breath and said “ Yes, I would have been yours if you hadn’t been so stupid”. If he had said “Yes" to me, the first time I opened up to him, I would have been his but without a shadow of doubt I would have ultimately regretted it.
His “stupidness” was actually God’s wisdom and had been his greatest gift possible to me. His rejection and denial which had led to my shame and insecurities unbeknowst to me had been the greatest thing he could have ever down for me. I actually owed him a thank you. A thank you for rejecting me and freeing me to meet my true love; the hubster. It was the hubster, his love, acceptance, encouragement and genuine support that God used as a chrysalis to turn this caterpillar into a butterfly. I had blossomed into whom I was made to be. I was beautiful.
That was it, there was nothing else to say. We had both said our piece and it was time to move on….
When I boarded that plane to go back back home, I mentally and emotionally said goodbye to the past; with piece in my heart ( and a smirk on my face….I won’t lie….lol) I closed a chapter to my life that had been left open a little too long. I couldn’t help but smile because I knew that the man waiting for me on the other side was all I will ever need.
…when I got back home and gifted the hubster about all that happened, he smiled, shook his head and basically said “ That boy lost his chance a loooong time ago…he needs to get over it” Hehe, I love that man!
THE END!!….there you go guys. The end! All this has been a true story! To those wondering if I am worried about the hubster finding out about this, rest assured, the hubster knew all about this before I even thought about writing it. I hold no secrets from him.
I learnt a lot from this chapter in my life and am going to write a “ Moral of the story…” piece next (…or soon)
…Musings from atop the potter’s wheel...