Sunday, February 17, 2013


So my post on my three day walk through memory lane instigated a lot of questions about “soul mates”. Do they exist, how do you know if you are with your soul mate and so on. I was quite surprised that so many people came to this question because I did not mention the word even once in my post.

ATC, My Love, Private Collection

So Soulmates… do I think they exist? Ohh thats a simple question. Absolutely….NOT!

Soul mates is the idea of “the one”… the one person you were supposed to marry, someone who you were destined for; to be quite honest I don’t believe they exist because the concept itself is quite flawed. So if there was ONLY one person for you; what happens if that person falls, sins, leaves you, dies, etc; after all, they are not “God” so can never be perfect. Does that mean, they were not the “one" or you are destined to be alone because there was only that one person for you?
I am imperfect

I believe God is a God of second chances and if you are saved, you can testify to this fact. God created us to live in the garden of Eden in a tight relationship with him but when that plan failed, he immediately provided a plan B. I don’t think it’s God’s will for our destiny to be 100% dependent on another human being. Even though we are flawed, God is a redeemer so I believe just as he can redeem time lost, he can redeem love lost as well.

One of my biggest objections to the concept of soul mates is that we use the word as a cop out from the responsibility relationship requires. For example I LOOOOOOOVE the hubster, but irregardless of this love, our marriage is not a bed of roses. It requires constant effort, constant work, constant compromise, constant understanding, constant sacrifice, constant prayer… I could go on forever.

Explored: Is there any greater journey than love?

Some people make the mistake of thinking that if every single day is not a romance movie, they must not have found “the one”. Then we have the devil who is forever roaming around town( 1 Pet 5 vs 8), he starts whispering about you needing to leave and how love will be more easier out there.

Soul mates are a great fantasy we love to believe in. The idea that there is someone who is ying to our yang makes for great hollywood movies, but like with most hollywood concepts, it is not something I believe in.

I would love to hear your thoughts…

Musings from atop the potter’s wheel….


1 + The One said...

Thanks for this... I used to believe in soul mates aka the one *a loong time ago* but through messages and things, my eyes have been opened!
Like you said, believing in the concept of soul mate makes one lazy in relationships because the belief is that as long you meet 'The One', things will fall into place... Wrong! lol

Anonymous said...

Hi Inthe...Its KF!!!
1st of all, sorry for the silence since your last email. Life rose on the way and I didn't take the time to get back to you after your last email: THANKS for your help, I really appreciate the time you took for me.

Now, to THE topic: I do believe in soulmates. Not in the sense of "1 person with whom you get along so well that it will cost you nothing". More in the sense of "1 person with whom every fights to become and then remain ONE deeply worth it".

I believe that as Iron sharpens Iron, there is ONE that would be able to sharpen me for the better, helping me to become more and more who I really am: God's original design. And there is ONE that I would be able to sharpen towards the best version of him also. God's unique dream.

Maybe I am just an hopeless romantic, but I really think that I am the better half of 1 and only 1 person in the whole world; And that he is walking around there with my missing rib and the POWER of God, is to be able to connect the 2 of us out of more than 6 billions of human beings. I see the meeting, recognition and then marriage process as one GLORIOUS miracle as statistically, there is 1 chance out of 6 billions that I meet "him"...And I don't even consider other parameters like the fact to be in the right circles, at the right season, with the right heart etc.

Moreover, I believe that we are all unique, and that God has a special plan, specific one, for each and every one. I believe that when you choose a husband, you choose to submit to him to help him accomplish a predefined divine mission (and in the process, fulfilling your own destiny): I can't believe that about a key topic as marriage in one's life, God is just like "if you choose A, then you'll get to destiny 1, and if it's B, then it will be destiny 2, and if it's Z then, you'll finish at destiny 1000";..I really BELIEVE that even in that area, God has a very specific plan. Now, I think that to find the way leading to that perfect "destiny partner", you must NOT look out for the guy, but look out for the kingdom of God in every aspect of your life...The light of Jesus will light up your way, and you'll faithfully find him.

That's being said, as a christian, I do believe in second chance too: If I miss him or he miss me, then we will find other people to be our "one and only". But with those, the sharpening process will be a little more difficult...There will be useless fights at some point, as we were not "meant to be one" in the first place. God will do us grace, BUT there will be a price to pay somehow.

So in the "one", I am more concerned about the ultimate purpose and outcome of the relationship, than its softness and comfort if it makes sense...

Abi Tobi said...

hmm i don't know.. I believer in love tho

sugarspring said...

yhello in the midst of
i tagged you in the liebster award on my blog and so come over and pick it up
much love!!muah!