Sunday, March 24, 2013

In the Present

Inthe…??  PRESENT!!!

Just had a flashback of primary school where the teacher or class monitor calls your name and you have to yell present to show you where there. Also remember friends who would mumble “Present” to cover the fact that you weren’t there. Aah…Good times!

I have to confess, In many situations, I could be present but barely in the present.  I have this weird “Gift” where you saying a word triggers so many instant thoughts that while you are talking about shoes, I’m thinking of sweet potatoes.  ( Shoes-->my shoes are  by the door--> oh look, they are dirty-->It’s all that farmer’s market dirt-->ooh! I got huge sweet potatoes there.) All this occurs faster than the speed of light.  I don’t get  myself sometimes; neither does the hubby. Sometimes when people are talking, I tune out but stay conscious  enough to nod, smile and say "Uh-huh” every few secs so they feel like I’m actually in the conversation. *Hides face in shame*


At our last SOTU,  (me and my big mouth, who even said I should start this thing!) hubby made it clear that he needed me more “present” when we are together. To stop daydreaming, or worrying or planning and just enjoy the moment and being in it with him.  He could be talking to me and I would be on my laptop, watching TV and keeping both eyes on baby boy…SIMULTANEOUSLY!! With hubby, it wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in what he was saying, I just felt i was “multi-tasking”.  I felt, I could give a piece of my brain to him, another piece to my work, another to baby boy and so on. A piece was better than nothing abi? Well that so called multitasking was getting me in trouble with the hubster and having a “piece” of me was leaving him completely unsatisfied.  Many times, during a conversation the hubster would ask “Are you even listening to me…??" Funny enough, the hubster wasn’t the only one bringing this up,  another important male in my life has told me the exact same thing. God.

I'm not listening anyway.

One of the first things I do when I jump into my car in is either play music or a sermon. Many times I could all of a sudden come out of my “fog” to realize that my lips have been singing along with a particular song but I have no recollection of when the song started or me actually singing along. My lack of being “in the present” really hits me when I leave church sunday morning without grasping a single thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I heard the music and even said a couple of “Amens” during the sermon but it was becoming mechanical and more out of familiarity than consciousness.  I would move my mouth to sing “ Bless the Lord…Oh my soul” but my soul wasn’t actually blessing the Lord; I was just going through the motions.

So God had said it…the hubby had said it…what else was I waiting for? It was time to be present in the present. What does this look like? Where do I even start from?

To be Continued…

Musings from atop the potter’s wheel...


Blessing said...

Oh my goodness, I can so relate....please help!

dosh said...

Misery loves company *group hug*

Drifting away doesn't bother me as much as singing along to gospel songs and realizing that i wasn't deliberately worshiping God but moving my lips and thinking of something else and i'm ashamed to admit that i get carried away in church too :(

There is always so much going on but it's a shame that God has to compete for our attention. I pray for His forgiveness and divine intervention.

Have a blessed Easter weekened.


This sometimes happen to me but not very often as you have perhaps shown in this post. Have you heard that saying ma, that, "a good listener is usually thinking about something else"?

*Just to crack you up* lol

Have a blissful weekend ma.


Abi Tobi said...

I can relate as well.. I think my attention span is a bit short :( ...

I would be praying on my way to work and in the prayer remember something else, and then my mind starts to drift from there.. then, come back to the prayer. it's weird
But I guess the woman's mind and brain was created to be a multi-tasker?

waiting for the rest :)

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!! you are talking about me in this post??? it sure feels like you were.i can greet you on my way out and be wondering few mins larra if i indeed remembered to greet you....i need help gan an tot train is sooo fast,esp with God.i cant lie and say its a total disadvantage,bcos it helps me understand d bible the more when studying but d other part is i cant study for loong because wellllll....i v gotten so much from few verses i read,sometimes even a line.
it also affects my meditation mind spews out thoughts faster than i can follow.
God gave me a word few months back and it has been helping me 'Be still and know that Iam God'
i literally v to remind myself this when i cant kept up.but i still want to learn from your nxt post.

In the midst of her said...

Anony: Girl, I am talking to you, me and about 10000 other christians out there. LOL…. one thing I want to point out to you, in regards to your comment about your scripture reading, is that your walk with God is YOUR WALK. You could read one verse of scripture and be in the spirit for 10 years, yeah, God’s word is that powerful! Don’t ever think there is a race, or biblical reading tempo you have to keep up with. Some people read 10 chapters a day and gain absolutely nothing… Do your thang girl, let no one tell you different.

Anonymous said...

Aha! I used to be such a dreamer. God taught me to use my imagination. When reading d bible or listening to a song or sermon, I begin to create images, like a movie, of d ongoing. Not perfect, but it works