First of, thank you soo much for your blog! I can't even begin to tell you how helpful and inspiring you are, thanks so much! I just discovered your blog last night ( from Myne's blog) and I think i read all your posts going back to the beginning of 2012.. Just last night :) Your openness and dedication to helping others truly has to be God…:). I would really
appreciate your advice on something.
I'm currently in a relationship with an amazing man. He’s not perfect obviously but he supports me, loves me just as I am and is ALWAYS there for me, fighting for me and my dreams and goals ( even when the opponent is myself) and he makes me want to be the very best me. He is humble, accountable, genuinely loves and respects others. He has a genuine relationship with God and God is his priority in his life. We have been together for 2 years and its been great; tough sometimes but great. Im 24 and he's 25. I asked him a few months back when he thinks he wants to get married and he said when he's 30 :(. I don't want to wait until I'm 29 to get married and I told him that. He said he's not ready for marriage now but that it's what he has been( and wants us to continue) working towards.
Needless to say, I was quite disappointed I would like to get married soon. As much as he loves me, I know that he won't get married until he feels he is ready. Athough we both have good jobs we are both barely saving after paying rent because it's is expensive. We both also want to go to business school next year and that's another two years of schooling so I can sort of see how he's not ready. This man loves me, not just by words. Everyday shows me. So, do I wait until he's ready and get on my knees to pray that God makes him want to get married sooner lol? Or do I leave him and trust God to bring someone who is ready to be married.
Ready and Willing
Thank you so much for your encouraging words; it honestly humbles me and keeps me moving. From the bottom of my heart, I love answering my “ Dear Inthe…” questions ( So blogsville, keep them coming!!!)
You’re question is very interesting. You’ve found a
prince charming 1Tim 3 man but he is not ready to get married for another 5 years. You want me to tell you if it’s ok for you to leave him because you want to get married much earlier?. Your letter brings up so many questions and I am going to throw them out there. Hopefully, they'll guide you through this process.
Let me be honest,I am not a fan of long term relationships because I believe it increases the risks of “slipping”. When you are in love, you can only keep sexual temptation at bay for so long before things get too complicated. You can be a born again saint but that doesn't erase the human side of you. The idea of you guys waiting 5 more years without crossing the line is possible but very improbable. I am not trying to say anything about you or your man but how long can a hungry man hold a hot pizza before tearing it up?
I also believe that 2 people have to be mutually ready to be married; manipulating your way down the aisle is asking for trouble on so many levels.Have you asked him exactly why he isn’t ready for marriage? What does he say to your unwillingness to wait 5 more years? or have you not even told him?
So that brings me to my next question, what are you going to do with this answer? Before having this discussion with him, you need to pray and have a heart to heart with yourself. What is your life timeline? What are you boundaries? What are you prepared to do? what will be your response to an unfavorable one from him? that is, if he says he is absolutely not getting married till 2018, what are you prepared to do about it? Can you stay with him trusting you'll eventually get married to him? Dont say you'll leave if you are going to stay and dont say you'll stay if you are planning to leave.
PS:it might also help to talk to someone who knows you both and of your relationship. Finding someone who is grounded spiritually might help you take a closer look and decide the next step.
Oya folks... Add your biblical 2 cents.
...Musings from atop the potter's wheel.