Saturday, May 25, 2013

I am not a mistake. Are you?

Matt 25 vs 14-15 ( NKJV): For the Kingdom of God is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them. And to one he gave five talents, to another two and another one, to each according to his own ability...


There was a point in my life that I questioned my purpose. I remember being in church during summer time and watching my peers getting ready for missions. They were going to exotic places all around the world to touch people in the name of God. Guess what I was going to do for summer? The same exact thing, I'd been doing for the last 3 summers. Going to school. I was in medical school, studying 23.5 hours a day and since we didn’t have summer break, I couldnt go anywhere. To be honest, I felt useless. I felt like a worthless seat warmer in the house of God and I wondered what I was doing with my life. It was a dark period in my life and trust the devil, he seized this oppurtunity to bring a lot of doubt and feelings of guilt into my heart.


Depressed.




Well, God is not a bystander. He is a Knight in shining armor who swoops in to save the day.  One similar summer found me again, watching my friends going off to missions and me standing there with a fake smile on the outside and a broken heart on the inside.   I looked up at the sign up table and for no reason ( I couldn't  drop out of school for missions abi?) I walked up to one of the pastors, who was in charge of the trip signup. You should have seen me, standing there looking at him like I was lost. I dont know what pushed me into it, but I decided to open up to him. I told him how worthless I felt that my peers were doing so MUCH for God and here I was doing nothing.  I told him about how I wanted to be a doctor since I was six and how I was sure it was God's purpose for my life but I couldn't understand why I felt so stagnant! I went on and on and he just watched me with a smile on his face. When I had exhausted my self, he quietly said " Inthe...God has you in medical school now for a reason.  You can't possibly imagine how he is going to use you as a doctor and what you are going to do for his kingdom" That was it. Standing there in a crowded church, one simple sentence whispered acoss a table cut throught the loudness and chaos and pierced straight into my heart. I was being prepared for something great.


optimistic





Fast forward 4 years... I am now a  doctor. ( God is faitful sha!) I come in  contact eat, sleep, work around sickness all day and I am happy. When I see a person with shredded arms (self mutilator, took me 3 hrs to sew her up) I  salivate.  I've driven to the hospital at 2am to deliver babies ( Liberian chick in labor...kept yelling to her man "See how you come do me so, see how you do me so, You don kill me...lol!) and gone 36 hrs straight with only 2-3 hrs of sleep ( I come home after a 24 hrs shift and go into full time housewife/mommy mode). This is my life and it makes me HAPPY, but, but, BUT... there's still something else missing. There is this nagging in me that tells me I am not done yet.

stitching the wound

Ladies and Gentlemen ( I hope I have male readers besides LDP...lol)... I have an anouncement to make. I've decided to...



To be Continued....


Musings from atop the potter's wheel....

5 comments:

In the midst of her said...

Hey Jem!…Mo shin m’eye bo lapo… lol

1 + The One said...

I don't believe anyone is a mistake either..
Eagerly waiting for part II, what's the big news??! :-D xx

Mwajim Al said...

*holds breath* Pls come back soon and make the announcement!

Akibo tommie said...

Is this my first comment? Don't even know, but i stumbled on your blog last week and i absolutely love it. I'm gonna be around for a while...

Yes, no one is a mistake and i must commend you and be grateful for Gods grace upon your life, really. Mummy and Doctor! Gods strength continue to be with you.

Beeee said...

So true, no one is a mistake and its good to remember (and remind others) of this when our lives seem to come to be stagnant.
Same here, can't wait for part 2! Talk about suspenseee... Lol :)