Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Keeping Him Personal.

As I said in my last post, this year is all about investing and digging deep into the relationships in my life. I'm cutting the shallow-time consuming- energy sucking activities and friends and getting more intimate with the true ones in my life.


Now while I want to do this in all my relationships, I want to especially do this in my marriage. I want to move into a deeper level in my marriage and this post is one way I plan on doing this. I want to keep the hubster more... "Personal". Let me explain….


Hebrews 13:4 
Let marriage be held in honor among all
















I know wives who keep their husband’s business on blast 24/7. I mean, by the end of a conversation, I know his likes, dislikes, hopes and desires. I know how many jobs he's applied to and how many rejection letters he's got. I know what foods he hates and  the ones that get him in the *cough*... mood. I know what outfits on women turn him on and ....you get the pic? Can you imagine what this kind of info in the wrong hands could bring about?  Yeah, exactly! 

Psalm 141:3-4  
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

It's not only talking freely about his weaknesses but even his strengths. His bling, sexual prowress or promotions. Your husband is a part of your privacy and as a wife there is a certain level of intimacy that is bred through respect and keeping his privacy. Your husband should never be a topic of discussion among you and your friends regardless of wether you are bragging or bashing him. Now I’m not saying if your hubby comes up in conversation start acting weird or smug; this is something that needs to be done with tact and wisdom so you don't give off the impression of being proud. You can nip a conversation in the bud so smoothly, people would think you just offered them cookies. I tell my friends; you can invite people into the "living room/parlor" of your marriage but never ever into the bedroom of it.

Dig deeper…Keep your man a mystery!  Let's go for it! 

Musings from atop the potter's wheel...

16 comments:

BeautyStyleGrowth said...

Great post...and might I add keep your relationship a mystery.

Akibo tommie said...

*Scribbles down notes*

:)

Destiny said...

I love this post, a lot of women who spread their husband's dirty laundry in public need to read this.lol Marriage should be sacred and always seen from a positive angle, let people always guess what's going on ? don't spill all your secrets, then there will nothing else for people to wonder about since they know it all.lol

naijawife said...

hmmm. so what do you think of marriage blogs like awon heather lindsey and co? Maybe there's a delicate balance. If you run a xtian blog like the marriage bed or the lindseys, there's some information you share with the intent of blessing or helping others. But at the same time, you know what to withhold...right?

imperfectlyperfect92 said...

Thanks inthe.
Keeping this locked down in ma heart, like E's great 'voices' to remember when the time comes,..

1 + The One said...

Taking notes as well..
Like Naijawife, I had that thought cross my mind. I have been blessed by couples sharing real life examples from their marriage (I have been immensely blessed by your examples on handling situations with your husband and also naijahusband.com)... And sometimes in talking about an incident or your reaction to it, it's difficult to avoid talking about your/his pet peeves etc..

In the midst of her said...

Beauty: Thank you!

Tommie: Lol….It’s all yours!

Chibabe: I second that!

Naija Wife: I don’t know these ladies but I must say, it is one thing to want to enlighten, another to share stuff to humiliate or just to say “ Dontcha’ wish your hubby was hot like mine…”

Imperfectlyimperfect: Lol! You are welcome!

In the midst of her said...

1Plus: I should clarify. Its one thing to share 4 teaching sake, another just to brag, humiliate or just to talk for talking sake. Ever met a wife who’s every word was “My husband just…” My husband bought…” “My husband said…” LOl

Missy Tee's said...

Oh please I am also taking serious notes too. Knowledge can't waste!

Ms. Yellow Sisi Unspoken said...

Its so great to be back to reading your blog. getting my "Inthe.. marriage tips 2014" notebook on deck. I can sincerely say i have been bless through you because i find myself quoting a thing or two i learned from your blog in random conversations :)

Uje said...

Wow..this is so true..am keeping it right in my heart!!

Unyime-Ivy King said...

Hi sis, happy new year. You are right, the Bible says that wisdom is profitable to direct in all our dealings. However, there are times that we need to celebrate what we do have, but in doing this, one must exercise caution and wisdom. Thank God for the ever present help of the Holy Spirit who will teach us when to open our mouths, and when to shut up.

I was excited on seeing this post because my bb status this year, for a long time was: time to cut, prune, review. It is necessary. Not every relationship is useful.

Marriage bythebook said...

I usually don't read comments in depth but I am glad I read through these esp 1+ and NW. Because I was thinking as I was reading 'does inthe actually mean I can't share anything about my hubby or marriage?' Especially after I read this line that said your hubby should NEVER be a topic of discussion...
Because the truth(for me esp) is that there are times i have had to share some stuff publicly that was private with his permission of course just to counsel or bless or encourage someone else. I also have friends with whom we share and take notes and they have been incredible blessings. Of course, knowing where to draw the line is key. But while I am all for keeping my man personal, i dunno if 'keeping my man a mystery' is what i am gunning for. Then interestingly I recall during counselling, the couple pastors had to be as open as possible with us and frankly, I was too grateful they did. Plus heaven knows I can ask questions ooo. And I love some of the 'not-so-mysterious' answers I have gotten and applied. Whether they are bragging or not. I pick my lessons and move on.
But I love the way you ended it... Living room yup not bedroom...
I hope this is not too long.
Hehe

Mrs. D

ay said...

This applies very much to relationships too.

Eniola Prentice said...

Great post, as women of God its about evolving and growing every day and applying biblical concepts to Godly relationships and marriage.

Yvonne Chase said...

LOVE this and agree with it 100%: "Your husband is a part of your privacy and as a wife there is a certain level of intimacy that is bred through respect and keeping his privacy. Your husband should never be a topic of discussion among you and your friends regardless of wether you are bragging or bashing him."