Saturday, March 29, 2014

Pulling a Ruth….(Part 1)

Once upon a time, a lady asked me how to make herself approachable by men. In other words, how to let a guy knows she’s interested in him without exactly telling him “Hey, I’m interested in you”. Although I will probably get beef for this I am TOTALLY AGAINST the school of thought that single women should approach/toast/ask out a guy.  Yes, I said it  and for you people about to use my girl “Ruth” (Bible) as proof that you can toast a guy; I am going to use the same Ruth to prove you are wrong misunderstanding the point of the story. Oya, let’s go!

Gen 2 vs 22:…and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to man.

God set the precedence for man
God decided man needed a helpmeet, a lover, someone to warm him up in at night; so voila, he created a woman. Then ( this is where it gets good) he take her to man and WALKS AWAY! He didn’t say Adam, look at this fine girl, I think she should be your wife. More importantly, Eve herself did not say a word! The next time a word is spoken is from Adam declaring what he saw and what he wanted. Just as it was given unto Adam total control of the garden, determining the names of the animals, God left his creation to determine what exactly he was going to do with Eve. Lol…Being the unfallen man that he was, he knew a good thing when he saw it and claimed her.

Eph 5 vs 24: The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to the church…

Wait, wait. I hear you guys. Inthe, you are talking about marriage; slow your roll!  I’m just talking about asking a guy out.  As you all are familiar with, I write from a christian perspective and this perspective encourages me to understand that the point of biblical dating is the advancement to marriage. if you agree with me on this point then you’ll see that you set the precedent for biblical marriage (wether you end up marrying or not) right from the first date. You want a man who proves leadership from the very get go. Why? because it determines his capability of not only initiating leadership but also maintaining it through out your marriage.  Look at it like this: You lead a guy into a relationship, then lead him into marriage, then lead him into making vital decisions on where your home is going! If you’re like me the old me, you can only take so much before you push him to the side and take the wheel; exactly what God does not want.

SOS 2 vs 7: Oh let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem; don’t excite love, stir it up until the time is ripe

You never know if they guy you are approaching is truly mentally/emotionally/spiritually/financially ready for what you are asking of him. You might be asking him to fill shoes he’s not grown enough to wear; like a child playing dress up in his father’s shoes. When you toast a guy, besides taking the role of leading from him, you set yourself up to be played.  Let me explain…. You toast a guy, depending on what he’s being led by he could a) tell you that he’s not interested (ouch!) or he could b) talk/psych himself up saying “I can do this… I can do this” prematurely jump into the relationship and consequently prematurely jump out and trust me, the aftermath of this premature relationship could be detrimental.

Ok, Ok Inthe… So you say I can’t toast a guy; you want me to just stand there helpless? Me too I know a good thing when I see it new...

Helpless? Haba no! Who said that? *wink* You want to know what to do? You pull a Ruth!

… Stay Tuned for Part 2

Musings from atop the potter’s wheel...


Debby Dyk said...

"You pull a Ruth"?
In the... This is ambiguous oh! (Haba)
Hope part 2 is up already?!
***hanging around for it***

Anosi said...

Funny enough, Tee and I were discussing about this issue when we heard Pastor Sam Adeyemi say a woman can propose to a man. Then we started analysing the 'Ruth situation'.
I am against the woman proposing, too but when a woman likes a good man, she has her way of getting attention. It is like releasing pheromones(like in insects) he'll sense it if he has the sensors that can pick it. If not it is a waste of time.
Why awaken an unripen love? A forced to ripen fruit cannot be the same as a naturally ripened one.
OluwaInThe, I am waiting for part 2 o. Lotta of love,sis.

Dr. N said...

Gbam! What I love is your premise that he should not be coerced into what he is not ready for. Let him show d leadership skills. I never thot of those reasons.

Frances Okoro said...

in the, part two oooooo

Anonymous said...

Inthe, so on point! May your wisdom never diminish #smiles

I reserve my comment for part 2 #can't wait!

God bless you Inthe

1 + The One said...

*smiling as I write*.... Thank God for the gift in your life. I am getting you, I am learning from you and you bring so much wisdom.. Infact as I prepare to read the next installment, I am already trying to think of what it means to pull a Ruth whilst allowing the man to lead lol.. I will wait for you :-) xx

Anonymous said...

Plssss Inthe when is the next part out, cos i need to know how to pull the Ruth o ( i like this man, who likes me back but is seriously stalling).

Maggielola said...

Aigoo. I think I just read a pastor's opinion on Ruth and his approval for the females "toasting" guys. I can't wait to see some feathers ruffled in here.

And really, why won't anyone have marriage in mind when approaching a female? Write jare...preach! :)

In the midst of her said...

Debby: Wait and see
ANosi: Love the analogy!!!
DR N: Abi ooo!
Frances: I dey come
Funmi: Amen girl! thanks for the blog love!
1Plus: *Hugs*
anony#1: gen gen!! It is coming, get ready to take notes!
Maggielola: Pastor said that? Chei, we are about to go head to head ooh lol.

naijawife said...

Hmmm. InThe I will wait 'till part 2 before commenting properly.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you! Off to read Part 2. You just got yourself a new fan :)