In my last post, I left off talking about making the guy aware that you are accessible to his advances. If you missed the first 3 segments, you can find them here, here and here. I talked about how Ruth made her advances known to Boaz and upon telling Naomi, her MIL, she was told
Ruth 3 vs 3-4:...let him know that you are available to him for marriage. Then wait and see what he says. He’ll tell you what to do.”
So you shown your self approachable, accessible and open to the possibility of a relationship all without toasting him or taking away his chance to take a lead role in making a relationship happen! Congratulations!
So what now?
Now comes the hardest part (well at least for me and a lot of women); sitting back and letting go. Naomi told Ruth to "...wait and see" because Boaz would "tell her what to do"
I hear you ladies " Wait and see? I hate waiting, I want what I want when I want it. I have to wait to see what this guy will do? What do I do with the time?
What do you do with the time? The same things you were doing before you noticed the fine boy; you LIVE YOUR LIFE! Remember, the purpose of pulling a Ruth is to show your interest in a guy but it is NOT to literally toast; so now that you've made your intentions known, the ball is literally in his corner.
He'll tell you what to do...
How? With his response to you. He'll do one of 2 things may happen
a) He'll see your signals and meet them head on.
As I mentioned in my last post, for some guys, there is nothing "worse" than a woman who seems to have it all. Most men want you to need them in a way, have some kind of area they can be of help to you. Once, they can see that gap, they fear you dont have need for them as a whole. For example, as you can assume, before the hubster, I was VERY VERY self fulfilled, if there was something I needed manly hands to do, I had my choice between a father, brothers, and any number of male friends willing to dive in and save the day. Let's just say I wasn't lacking in the testosterone dept. Well, when the hubster and I became serious, I had to relinquish a lot of control in order to provide an opening into my life, create an area he could fulfill not only to start sharing my life with him but to also give him the chance to be MY man. Ok, so what's the point of this story? Once you give a guy that "opening", if he is interested, he will run into it! You wont have to sit there stressing and worrying, he will take that opportunity and those hints and make that relationship happen.
We all know where Ruth's story ended, but unfortunately that is not the conclusion in every situation. Unfortunately, there can be a option B as well...
b)You'll realize he's not interested in you.
Sorry girlfriend, this is a part of life; unfortunately there is a chance you might encounter a situation where the guy you're feeling may not be feeling you at all. Put don't see this as a waste; it is actually closure that will free you to move on. Look at it this way, would you rather have sat there guessing on his intentions or knowing the truth and being able to close this chapter? I thought so. Take it as it is and move on; the saving grace is that if you played your "Ruth cards" right, he'll have no idea you were crushing on him hard.
So, there you go. I hope you enjoyed my "Pulling a Ruth" series. I also hope you've been encouraged to know that love doesn't just have to "happen" to you...you can be a willing participant in choosing who approaches you.
Musings from atop the potter's wheel...