Monday, June 16, 2014

Loving myself

I've always wondered why God made me the way I am...there is a purpose to all he does so there must be a purpose to me.
                                             -Inthe...

The hubster does many things well. He is an excellent father and a loving, loyal husband. Through my marriage he has challenged, praised, encouraged and pushed me to go all out and be the best I can be. When I decided to go for a fellowship in another state, he packed up his bags, gave his job notice and followed me. No questions asked. That's the kind of man he is. The hubster is also an introvert, a shy guy that could be in a room for 1 hr before you even notice him. Don't get me wrong, he says his piece but he is very...very...very reserved in all he does. In a fight, rather than tell you about "your mother and ancestors", he would rather keep quiet and walk away. I've learned to love and appreciate this side of him. He loves me and in return, I've strived to love him back.

 Cute couple


To be his greater cheerleader, a wife who nurtures him into being the man he was created  to be. A helpmeet. Well Inthemidst ( no pun intended...lol) of striving to improve myself, self reflections made me question certain personality traits I have. I came up with this theory, if the hubster is dabomb.com within his introverted self, maybe I could be as well if I also became introverted. I'm not quite sure if you can tell but I am probably one of the most extroverted persons you will ever meet! There is not a shy bone in my body and I am perfectly capable of walking alone into a room full of strangers and strike up a conversation with 10 people in 10 secs. I say what I mean and mean what I say and I am not shy about giving you my opinion. Now understand I'm also a big girl and a child of God so EVERYTHING I do is filtered through the word of God. I don't go around loud and crazy making a nuisance of myself just to be noticed; nor do I speak brash rude words under the guise of being an extrovert. Just as there is a difference between being an introvert and being weak, there is a huge difference between being an extrovert and an attention seeker. 

Cheers

Anyway...
While going through this stage of self reflection, I started wondering if this extrovertedness was more of a con than a pro. Look at most women of God or how they are described, you hear "meek" "gentle"  "quiet" "unassuming" "soft spoken".... And then I look at myself and laugh; soft spoken? Quiet? Ah, you better check my temperature because if you ever find me like that I must be sick. I remember seeing the quiet SU girls and thinking. Wow, they have it made! They are a reflection of what God wants the christian woman to be. It might sound crazy but this thing pain me gan ooh. I wanted to be shy, I wanted to be easily moved to tears, I wanted to be "soft". I started praying to God asking him"why did you make me this way! I believed if I could throw of these extrovertedness, I would be better. Omo, frustration galore!

Nun
So one night I opened up to the hubster; telling him how I felt that I could be better, how I strived to be quiet and soft spoken and introverted but couldn't. I confessed how I didn't know why I was the way I was. Lol... Come see the hubby's face. God bless that man..after hiding a smile (or maybe laughter) he told me how this extrovertedness gan gan was one of the things about me that blessed him the most! He challenged me to see how it was my extrovertedness that propelled me to sit blogging to anonymous people as Inthemidstofher; offering encouragement and advice on love and relationships. He pointed out how I've even used my "blunt mouth" to speak words of comfort and encouragement to women I had just met without wondering what the world might think of me.  The best part is that I've also used my extrovertedness to defend his honor and protect his heart when people tried to take advantage of him and abuse his quietness. I remember one situation. My hubster has a university friend who is very loose with his promises. I will be there at 2pm means I will see you next week. He promised the hubster that he would be at our wedding and guess what? After making mouth of many months, he never showed up nor had the dignity of calling for almost a year.

KATANA
Well after putting my hubby on "I dey come" for the 555th time his luck was up. While he was apologizing over something I told him point blank that he was walking on thin ice and that university days where over. The hubster was now a married man and I was his pitbull. If he EVER even thought of taking advantage of my man's gentleness again,  he would have me to deal with.  I would cut their relationship into shreds and not think twice about it. After I calmed down that day I apologized to the hubster for my forwardness but the hubster hi-fived me and said "that boy needed to hear that"...Hahahaha.

smile like you mean it

So God loves me and the hubster loves me....I guess it's time to start loving this part of me as well! The more I look at it, being extroverted is not that bad of a thing. God made me this way and I've used it to show his love to the world. I wont fight who I am and I will stop feeling guilty about the beauty he's placed in me.

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel

15 comments:

Tomilola Akibo said...

LOL.. Correct @ The Hi5!!

Love love! I am a mixture of both.

naijawife said...

Yup! so true on so many levels.

Anonymous said...

Hi 5. After years of going for deliverance from my extrovertedness (big english), God told me to rest it. Quiet and humble spirit do not mean introvert. It means u may be outspoken, but not to hurt. Methinks, our gift should not be played down. Note to self: Working hard not to quench my son's extroverted, nature. Lol. Dr. N

1 + The One said...

LOL.. I am particularly grateful that God made you an extrovert (thank God!) lol..
I could identify with you admiring the meek, gentle SU girls in Uni because I used to wonder why I wasn't any of those either (I still wonder sometimes).. But Inthe, I thank God for giving you a wonderful and wise husband... A man who loves how fabulous you are (how can you even think of changing you!!?? lol).
Thank you for being you. YOU have been a blessing to me and so many others.
You know it's all love sis.. Thanks for the message of knowing that I can only be best at being me xxxx

Tamara said...

Wow...Nice post!Isn't it funny how the extroverts wanna be like the introverts,and the introverts wanna be like the extroverts?I wonder if God sometimes rolls his eyes at us and goes..."Humans!!!""lol.I'm an introvert,and a long time ago,I used to wish I wasn't so introverted,until I listened to some Joyce Meyer messages.God created each person to be unique,we all can't be the same.The world will be so boring!

Ugo Ukam said...

oh my, God bless your heart. Now i know where my unhappiness comes from. Striving to be what i'm not.....

Anosime said...

It's a gift you have there. Equation cannot cancel in relationships.
Love you ma'am.

Anonymous said...

Lurve this post! We all have different and unique personality and temperament traits. You reminded me of Joyce Meyer here as it was also something I have heard here speak about plenty times.

Pls find a link to a blogger I very much like on a similar issue as this.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.ae/2014/04/black-and-white-unemotional-and-not.html

@eloxie said...

Lovely post dear InThe,I am so blessed that you embraced your extrovertedness. See what it has birthed in so many people like me.
I've learned that accepting who I am just as I am is key to walking in purpose. Imagine Paul, he was able to scold Peter publicly, that was who he was. We would have thought 'how loud' but God used him just like that. His letters reflect his no holds barred character and God was glorified. So at the end of the day, if each of embraces who we are and are best at it, God is glorified, we are happy, and others are blessed.
Thank you for this post, as always it is a blessing. thanks to all who commented too. God is glorified when we accept who we are in Him.

nike said...

Lol. That's us humans. I used to want to be an extrovert as i hated being soft. Although im not an extrovert now. Im becoming more confident in myself and personality style. I think its good to own ur personality type but be sensitive to the holy spirit as he might want u to do something that is not necessarily 'you'

Christiana said...

Love this! I'm an introvert and used to wish it was the other way. Mostly because people would take advantage of my quiet and shy nature. But not anymore. God surely knows what fits us best because left up to us, we would wants to be all sort of things we don't need to be.

Uche Okonkwo said...

It took me a long time to realise it's okay to be the introvert that I have, and not try to 'fix' myself or change to get people to like me, so I totally relate with this. We are who we are and who God made us.

I think the most important thing is to be the best of what He's given/made us, to use our gifts to their fullness.

Noble Strength said...

I am an introvert and for a long time l tried so hard to be more out there. I would just end up tired and burnt out. It was just too much work...lol. So l gave up trying to be all things to all people. Now l am just me. Thanks for the message, it's so honest and true.

Holly Awah said...

Inspiring post. For a long time while growing up I wanted the same thing but in reverse. I am introverted and wanted to be more out going. It took me awhile to love me for who I am and actually still an ongoing process. But I thank God for where I am today.

Tosin said...

LOL It's funny that I read this today. I'm sitting here hating the fact that I'm introverted and spend way too much time with my thoughts. I still don't know what it's for though..I'm kind of getting tired of thinking and over thinking. It's also really funny you wanted to be quiet, what I'd give to be outgoing right now :P