Friday, July 25, 2014

Dear Inthe...How will I know?

Dear Inthe...

Question everything

I’m with a great guy but how do I know he’s the ONE for me? You were sure of the hubster before you married him; how can I also be that assured of my decision? I don’t want to be outside the will of God.

Dear Anonymous,

So you want to know how to be sure this guy is God’s will for you? This is a pretty simple question that I get A LOT!! Sometimes I fear I may have made it seem so complicated in my posts. I hope not sha because as long as you know God personally, it’s a very easy decision to make.

So what? Whats the answer? Simple! Ask God

Raise a hand to make it stop the preacher said

OK…Ok… That sounds even more complicated abi? It really isn’t. People often think that we have to hear an audible voice for God to speak to us; that is sooooo not true! God speaks to us in different ways, we just have to make sure we are listening. 

As you know, when my baby daddy approached me, I was beyond confused and even more scared because, like you, I did not want to move by flesh. If this was going to last longer than forever, I needed to rely on something more reliable that that piece of pounding flesh in my chest.

How does God speak?

1) Through his word
Thy Word is my Lamp
  Psalm 119 vs 105:Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

The bible is truly a manuscript of life. There is an answer for every question you have to ask. I used 1 Tim 3 as a blue print of what I wanted my husband to be like because as I’ve mentioned before, If these where qualifications God desired in a man to lead his house, then I wanted them in a man who was going to lead my heart. God’s words and promises are for real and when we pray, we have a conversation with God. We invite God into our situations and his words bring peace. Remember, if God answered me about my hubby through prayer and his scripture; he can do the same for you.

2) Through his gifts

christmas presents

Phil 4 vs 7: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

God can answer your " Is he the one" questions through his gifts like wholeness,peace and joy. The scripture here says his peace will guard (direct) your heart and mind and also settle you down.  There will be such peace in the relationship that you will definitely know God is in "this". Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Even when I was fighting (and oh boy, did I fight) the Hubster's attraction for me; deep down inside, I knew without a shadow of doubt, God was in this.

3) Through his people.

 girl talk

Proverbs 15: 22: The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to counsel.

Let me take a second to emphasize the importance of godly counsel when it comes to making this big decision. Don't rely solely on your feelings or perspective. Invite others into the conversation because God speaks through his people. I want you to seek the counsel of the Christians in your life who know you both. If possible, ask people stable and solid in God’s words and their God walk; people who know him and love him sincerely. Ask them, what do they see when they look at you and your boyfriend? Do they see things your love is blinding you to? Ask them to lift you up in prayer and ask God to speak to their hearts.

I am so pleased you want to make God foremost in your relationship. I know God will bless and honor your desires. I wish you the best!

You know where to find me if you need me...



Cassandra Ikegbune said...

totally agree with all you've said! I remember when I had this similar problem and you gave me that simple advice. Especially no 2, most times actually, you can just feel when its right. The peace and all
Thank youi inthe said...

Thank you. This was so helpful

Debby Dyk said...

You are just a sure blessing!
God bless you

And I've realised that what we really 'struggle' with is our expectations- example: 'but he's not macho, he's not fair, he's this/ he's that'.
Deep in our hearts though, God's peace envelopes our heart, and with time, we'll see beyond 'his short comings' and begin to see as God sees.

Thanks again!
(*did you notice that my relationship 'smarties' has sky rocketed?! The student is becoming the teacher! LOL*)

Hugs and more hugs.
Thanks for letting me know you! I've been blessed!

Anonymous said...

Simple and easy to apply. I think Christians need to learn to hear from God for d mundane things so when impt things lik marriage crop up, they already know his voice. Dr. N

Abi Tobi said...

I never know what to say... Keeping this on my heart for when I get to this stage

Ugo Ukam said...

I wish i can talk to you more????wisdom pours from you. May this grace continue to increase.Amen

In the midst of her said...

Cassandra: hey Cassie!! Thanks for the blog love.

Beauty: Praise God.... You're more than welcome

Debby:Hmmm! Gbam! You go girl!

Dr N: I couldn't have said it better!!

Abi: You'll get there sis!

Ugo: Hey girl, email me anytime at Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Where are you Inthe??? I have been checking your blog weekly since this post...i hope you are ok.


Anonymous said...

we miss you