Friday, December 12, 2014

Dear Inthe... Does it really matter?

Dear Inthe...
Well, recently I met a guy. We've known for just over a month. I initially saw him as a bad boy, who just wanted to "chop and clean mouth" but as the days go by, I'm learning and finding out new things about him, he doesn't seem like the bad guy I made him out to be initially. He likes me and has made it clear, he really treats me well. I like him too but have some issues holding me back. He's Catholic, believes in God but doesn't really go to church like that and is not a fan of "them naija churches". I was once a Catholic and now attend a non-denominational church and I don't plan to raise my children or ever go back to Catholicism.


I feel it will be selfish to pray to God to change his denomination or to make him more serious about his Christian faith just because of me. This is a BIG issue for me because I take my relationship with God seriously (at least I try), I tithe, I sow seeds, I speak in tongues, I attend services at least twice a week and I ideally want someone with similar beliefs to avoid problems in the future.He has most of the qualities I desire in a mate but the absence of that personal relationship with Christ erases all the good qualities in my eyes. I'm not sure what to do, do I just stick around being a friend or end the friendship and move on with my life? I have honestly not prayed earnestly about it yet, it's like I'm not sure I will like what I hear*.
Endlessly Waiting
*Edited for brevity and privacy.

Hey EW...
Thank you for the blog love! I'm going to talk to you the way I would talk to my sister. When you said "you haven't prayed because you aren't sure you'll like the answer..."I feel you know the answers to your Q's  before you even emailed me and just need some confirmation. 
this secret heart. (explored)

Let me first *Hug* and congratulate you for being so sold out for Christ. He sees this,loves this and will repay you with your heart's desires. You're 28, your mates are married and waiting seems like forever but trust me, God sees you. 

..Seek the Kingdom of God FIRST and everything else will be added to you...
Now in a previous "Dear Inthe..."; I mentioned that belief, faith, fruits and character were more important than denomination. Who cares if someone is pentecostal or baptist as long as you both shared the core beliefs of the bible? Unfortunately, I can not say the same in your situation because the truth is, your guy is automatically disqualified for the mere fact that he does not have a personal relationship w/Christ. Also he is catholic; you're ex-catholic. You know their views and beliefs differ greatly from our beliefs on the bible? What else do you need to hear? What profit a man to gain the world if he loses his soul? What will it profit you if you get that ring, have the huge wedding, beautiful house but have it all with a man God did not choose for you? I can't even begin to describe the life that would be. There is a reason why Christ says we should not be unequally yoked. 
True love waits

So what do you do? The next step is to protect your heart. It's obvious you have feelings for this guy or you wouldn't be writing me. The problem with this is that your heart, while not in love, is "open" to him and this can make it harder to walk away. You need to walk away not only to break the hold but to also clear the path for the right guy. Keep praying and the Lord will strengthen you. You know where to find me dear. 

...Musings from atop the potter's wheel...


Anonymous said...

Yes, it matters. A friend of mine took d risk of marrying an unbeliever. He got saved shortly after. She was lucky. Many are stuck in marriages wt ppl u can't pray or stand in faith with. Rather u spend all your time praying for him to be saved. Forget d butterflies in your tummy. Dr. N

sayedero enytan said...

Your friend is one of the lucky ones!
I always think of the ones I let go because we weren't in tune spiritually
I REALLY want someone that loves God more than he loves me and let's God lead u and hubster

Emmanuel Obiye A. said...

Hmmn,I don't have any problem with denominations,what I have a problem with is not having a relationship with God.I am also a Catholic....but first I am a christian.If the person you are in a relationship with does not have a relationship with God then it's not worth it