Friday, January 30, 2015

Learning to Mary my Martha-ness.

          ---Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it— and won’t be taken from her.”( Luke 10:41-42).

As I have mentioned about 100 times on this blog, I love to cook. There is no greater satisfaction sitting and watching people lick their plates clean. Over Thanksgiving, I decided to host family and spent days, yes, you read right, DAYS cooking up different meals to serve. It was a hit! People were fed and I was pleased. My momsie aka Iya ni wura aka mama Inthe looked me straight in the eye and said if this food was cooked by any other woman, she wouldn't let my dad eat it because this was "Gboko gboko food". Come see head swelling! So swollen I decided to host family over for Christmas and spent a couple more days cooking more dishes. Through the days the Hubster kept on saying "Inthe, pace yourself, pace yourself, you're doing too much" but I wouldn't listen.


There was a point that as people were being lulled away in a food coma, I ran to the kitchen to start baking snacks. I hadn't even really eaten myself and was exhausted from this cook-athon but I just wouldn't stop. I wanted to be the perfect hostess and a perfect hostess wouldn't be caught without at least 3 types of rice at an event. Abi? Instead of joining in the festivities, actually sitting down with people and enjoying the season, I was running around making and and  looking for an empty plate to fill.  As I was running around, I started feeling sick, then I noticed I was shaking. Lo and behold, I was falling ill. Did that stop me? Nope. The hubster had had enough;  alone in our bedroom, he told me of how fed up he was with this over doing. My baby daddy actually raised his voice at me and said ENOUGH!

What's my point?.....
All The Rage
Sometimes in life, we focus so hard on that thing we seek that we ignore the beauty of the journey getting there. As a single woman we want to become married, the second we get married, we are thinking of children. When we have children, we miss the freedom we enjoyed as singles. This lack of "living in the present" steals the joy of the now. Our gaze is so far ahead, we become contemptuous of our present life. We place that "it" on a pedestal thinking it's the one thing between us and perfection. Results?  You end up like me! Sure I was able to cook for days and feed a party of people till they begged for mercy but where did it leave me? Physically and mentally fatigued and in bed for 2 days.  Remember the story of Mary and Martha in the bible? Sure Jesus needed to eat and probably a few more things but Mary just wanted to bask in his presence for a while; there would be time for the other things later.
 day 71 ~ Basking

While you're gra-gra'ing and hustling to become wifey, dont despise your current status. Enjoy your present and just bask in the blessings of today. Don't end up in a situation where after you've gotten that man, or that ring or that pregnancy or that $2000 pair of shoes, you look back at the wreckage you've left behind and ask yourself, was it really worth it?

Musings from atop the potter's wheel.


Anonymous said...

Wow! This post spoke volumes to me! Thanks a lot for sharing this.

Anonymous said...

Great post as always! Like my aunt once told me: "Enjoy being single while it lasts!" That has been my mantra.I plan to make the most of this phase of my life and I know God will bring Mr Right at the right time (pun intended)

Talikhi Bekas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bimpe said...

I so needed this, Thank you for sharing

Christiana said...

I Can definitely relate to the cooking and hosting part. You just get caught in the moment and want to make sure everyone is well fed and having a good, but often time we forget ourselves. Part of the journey is also enjoying the food, the moment and the people as well. Love how you relate it back to life. Once a goal is achieved, we're so quick to move on a set a higher goal, not really relishing in the present achievement.