Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth but only such as is fit for building up...that it may give grace to those who hear it.
I learned to suture by practice; practice and encouragement from my superiors that I was doing a good job. I remember once I was in the Emergency room on call ( pulling a 24hr shift), a young white girl came in with plastic bags tied to her hand and the bags were dripping blood.
After we took the bags off, I noticed she had cuts the whole length of both arms. It turns out she was a "cutter", someone who periodically cut themselves to relieve stress, pain or other emotions. I volunteered to suture her up and it took me about 2 hours to finish the job. After I was done, I nervously called my attending physician (Oga on top) to come check it out. He came in, glanced at it and said one word "Perfect" and left the room. Even my patient said I had done an excellent job and was one of the sweetest physicians she had ever met. I was over the moon and my confidence went off the charts. One word, one look had made my night.
Proverbs 16:24: Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy to the body.
It's amazing how the simplest of words can make or break a situation. As a married woman, I've been taught there is a consequence for every action and when your spouse hurts, you ultimately hurt as well. I have seen and lived with the consequences of my harsh words to the hubster and after repentance, I have learned to use my words to benefit my home rather than break it down.
My words can strengthen the bonds between my husband and I just as quickly as they break them down so I've decided to use them as ammunition; cupid arrows of a sort and trust me they hit the target every time. You want to know what's in my arsenal? Big guns like "You're right" "I trust you" "I believe in you" "That's a great idea" "I stand by your decision" "You are so wise" "Thank you" "You're so helpful". Mehn, after the smoke from these bombs clear, you should see the look on my baby daddy's face. Actions also count! For example, If I'm watching a show on TV and he walks into the living room, you know what I do? I give him the remote control. Wait, wait, I hear you ladies saying ...but what about the show you're watching naw...Guess what 9.999 time out of 10, the hubster will say "Thanks love but I'm fine watching this with you." The 0.001 times he'll change it will be to check the scores of a game he wants to watch and he will only change the channel when my show is on commercials. To be honest, it's all manipulation. The mere fact that I offered to sacrifice my show for his pleasure endears me to him all the more and prevents him from wanting to change the channel.
Proverbs 14:1: The wise woman builds her home...
I am also not quick to point out faults either. If the hubster surprises me with roses (fyi: I HATE roses); I don't point it out immediately and instead gush over them. Wait inthe... you are lying then, you hate the roses. True but I am not gushing over flowers but the act of him getting me the flowers. Obviously he was thinking of me through his busy day and thought enough to surprise me with them. Then later on, I'll find a sweet way of slipping in how much I hate roses and let him know what my favorite flowers are.
This is not one sided... He does the same to me! At times when my cooking adventures go horribly wrong, he wont let me know. As a matter of fact, he'll still clear his plate and even ask for more. A week or so later, he'll casually mention how horrible that meal was and we would both laugh over it. When I remember how he still ate the meal, despite hating it, it just makes me love him all the more. I guess its all about being two faced. The point is this; Men are created not born and from the way we raise our sons to the way we treat our husbands; we women play a huge role in the development of manhood. Constant abuse and disrespect breaks them down and might lead to them questioning their own manhood and abilities. When you give your man the encouragement and confidence to walk the path of leadership within the home you eat the fruits of it big time.
...Musings from atop the potter's wheel.