Friday, September 20, 2019

Dear Inthe, How Do I Win My Over My Mother-in-law ?

In this episode, I answer a question from a young lady eager to win the approval and affection of her future MIL.

She writes:

Dear Inthe, 
Next week, I’ll be meeting my mother in law for the first time.
Well, actually, she’s not my MIL yet. My bf and I have been dating for 6 months but I see us getting married. How do I wow and win my MIL over?
I want her to love me like a daughter?

LOL...Sis needs to calm down a bit, right?  Press the play button to listen to how I set her straight... with love, of course.

The Schaefers - Daughter and Mom.

Spoiler: Let me be the first to tell you that your mother-in-law is not your mother.

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...Godly Love, Godly Marriages and Everything in Between.


Anonymous said...

Thank you

E' said...

Oh my
This post is the TRUTH nne. Truth on fleek!!!
My dear I couldn't agree more with that fakery absolute nonsense. Eish!!! I hear sooooo many people complain of stuff MIL has done and when you check, they started playing trophy daughter in law and indulging what they wouldn't otherwise. Especially that case of 'over visiting' and holidaying both of MIL FIL and others. I certainly would never indulge that without control so I didn't start it.
Then yup I owe her respect at first sight. Even mention. Not love at first sight.
Amazing mama. I would be referencing it in a later post


IntheMidstofher said...

Anony: You are welcome!

E baby: We are so intent on making the woman love us that we are willing to sacrifice all dignity without thought of the future. Can we keep up this fakeness? lol

Anonymous said...

bless you for the pointers. what if the scenario is different? The hubs wants you to love MIL by force?
i really do not know how to pretend.its either i like you or not.

*sadface* and she is not a likeable person too

IntheMidstofher said...

Anony2: Thank you so much for the encouragement and great question!
First of all, you can't force love. Not love for your husband,your friends or even your mother-in-law. True love is developed gradually, step by step, bit by bit. My dear you don't have to pretend, because that will only last a flash in time.As your husband's mother and an older woman;gives her what you owe her. That is, be respectful, be courteous, be a good daughter-in-law; show her that her actions can not influence or change the heart God has placed in you but that is all you can give until something changes.

Anonymous said...

I loved the lessons here. taking notes.

it's Abi :)

Anonymous said...

Lesson learnt!. I love my MIL, and it is very evident she loves me. She's the type that if she doesn't like you, YOU WILL KNOW. She won't hate you oo, however, she'll show you that she doesn't like you and could care less about you. Seeing how much love she has shown me since her son and I became official, it's amazing. Sometimes I find myself going overboard (over-visiting) just to reciprocate. But I think this post is very apt, regardless of how much she loves me, I only need to respect her and in respecting her, I show love.

Thanks Inthe...

Anonymous said...

i really enjoyed reading this and you make some great points. I would just like to add that some things should always remain in the marriage as when husband or wife shares too much of their spouses faults it can lead to inlaws losing respect. some people say 'i do' and yet still attached to their mum's umbilical cord lol. blessings x

Iyeh Ugbo said...

I had some serious questions in my heart regarding my MIL. One time via blog I clicked on a reference to inthe and while browsing I came upon this podcast. The Holy Spirit is just awesome. My MIL started staying with us after the birth of our first child almost five years ago. Nobody warned me how it'll be or what to expect. I went in bright eyed and oblivious. The Holy Spirit told me to love my MIL and let go of every offence. I started feeling guilty when I had less than loving thoughts and sometimes attitudes toward her. I got to know what the HS meant by love ; patience, kindness, no record of wrong etc as contained in 1 Cor 13. Not necessarily affectionate or loving. This podcast really put things in perspective for me. We may never be the best of buddies the way I am with my mom (this shocked me with my MIL lol) but it's always my prayer that we live in peace and she's a joy to live with.

IntheMidstofher said...

"I got to know what the HS meant by love ; patience, kindness, no record of wrong etc as contained in 1 Cor 13."

Thank you so much for writing! Your words are filled with such wisdom.