Friday, September 27, 2019

The Arts and Science of Marriage

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Culture has always dictated what is manly and what is feminine.  Stay at home moms are applauded for giving their all but if a man decided to be a stay at home husband, he is considered weak and less than a man.  In this episode, I discuss the uniqueness of every relationship and encourage people to find what works for them, regardless of what culture or society might say.

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...Godly Love, Godly Marriages and Everything in Between.


Gee said...

I like this post, love the sciences and we seem very alike.

People need to know that it is okay to have your "art" different from others. Not according to society/culture but according to the 2 people involved. You're right, not all men adore the idea of a lady in the kitchen. So find his love language (not the society's love language) and speak to him that way.

1 + The One said...

Oh! How I love this post.. There's the tendency to want to compare what works in another marriage to what yours should be like.. Lord knows I was already thinking in my mind when I started reading this post that "InThe has put someone in trouble oh.. I don't like cooking!" lol, until I read further, then my prayer point changed to Lord bless me with a husband that understands and suits me and my personality and vice versa.
RE: Woman on twitter, from your previous post, that is why it is wise to keep quiet on some things that you do in your home and for your husband! People putting sand sand in your apple pie!

IntheMidstofher said...

Gee: Exactly!!!! Its what works for you. Ain’t nobody's business but yours.

Ayo: No ooh, don’t let my cooking prowess intimidate you. You’re man might require something different and I know it will be something you will do with such ease.

E' said...

For cooking as an art, you and I share that.
I hated cooking in my parent's house. Momsie always feared il starve Aku'm to some kinda food death looool
If I visit your house, I will still HATE to cook. But in my marital home, cooking is my art. I cook soooooo much and all manner but I won't even eat till he is done. Or he insists I get mine and join him. Oh the joy of seeing his eyes light up his tummy bulge and have him experience a FOODgasm is all the joy I need and a fuel for this art.
I always say that generalizations in marriage esp of the ART don't work. Women need to learn it. And fast too. Whether sex , chores, food, babysitting, etc. Find your own. And remove ya eye from another woman's.
In marriage ehn u need a trailer loada wisdom and a huge big padlock to keep away the 'okachamaras'
The I too know's
Lovely one nne
The first post I see without a bible verse. Yet so loaded...

JytE said...

Science: Compulsory courses.

Art: Electives (you get to choose what works for you).

In marriage it's to each his own, not minding whether it's traditional or modern. If it works, great!

Ps: You just described me. I looooovee to cook.

IntheMidstofher said...

E’licious: ha!! You go girl. You better work that wifey magic on that man!! Keep him intoxicated!

Mrs. D said...

I recall a senior colleague of mine when I was doing my internship who used to have someone bring all kinds of soups and stews for her like twice a month.
Omo, dey gossip am die for office...
And she had her reason which till tomorrow I loved and respected!!!
She and hubby work real hard all week. Weekends are the only time they have to reallllly bond and sundays are pretty much half day cos of church commitments. And they had two kids. And dude doesn't care so much about who's cooking so long as there is food. And he'll rather have the bonding time.
It totally worked for them. She didn't start her marriage that way but that Art became as a result of change.
I never did understand why people tot she was not being 'domesticated'
Like in my home, there's housework I aint cut out for!!! Hubby does it easy. Doesn't make him sissy!!! Its our ART!!!
Great Post Inthe...
Mrs. D

IntheMidstofher said...

Jyte: Brilliantly said!

IntheMidstofher said...

Mrs D: I love your example!! Art is making your marriage work for you. Let the world say what they like…it is YOUR marriage!!!

Abi Tobi said...

Amen, amen and amen! Since I am not married I have no input but I like where u pulled d strings from .. Love it!

Abi Tobi said...

Amen! Amen to that ! Since I am not married I can not even add to it .. I love how u pulled the strings together. I always enjoy reading ur articles!

Unknown said...

Yes you are so right, as every individual is different so is every marriage. When I read cooking I realized that can never be the "art" of my marriage because even to cook for myself I have to coax myself. Great post about staying in your lane and finding what works for your marriage.

Tolu O said...

Arts and Sciences indeed...they reinforce each other, a dynamic balance of sorts that breathes life into their lives as they learn to dance through the minefields, painting a beautiful mosaic from the broken pieces of life

May we all learn to play our part in such a beautiful dance

Jennifer A said...

I love this SO MUCH. This message needs to be shouted on rooftops so that it can free many people out there and help them to just do "them"!!! Thanks so much @inthemidstofher. I especially loved the real-life example at the end of the family member turned INTRUDER. How people think they know what's best for other couple's marriages is beyond me.