Friday, December 06, 2019

Letting My Man Be a Man.

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In this episode I discuss the difficulties some women have with accepting chivalry and allowing "men to be men". I also share my personal struggles with letting my husband do "hard things" which includes taking care of me. 

Love is a revolution.

Spoiler: Ephesians 5 vs 25-28 : Husbands go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church- a love marked by giving not getting…Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her…

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...Godly Love, Godly Marriages and Everything in Between.


Jennifer A. said...

I love this >>> "I'll reward him with a hot kiss for his efforts." Abi o!!!!! Let him be the man. Lovely post :)

Yvonne Chase said...

I've never understood that mentality. I don't understand a woman getting mad at her man for helping her. He's doing what he was created to do. His help is not saying you can't do it yourself! Men can't lead unless we let them lead. I feel sorry for men today with all this feminist foolishness. I wish the feminist would all pack up their bags and go away. They've made heterosexual relationships impossible!

Great post!

Unknown said...

Ouch ! Gotta check myself

Hephzibah Frances said...

Truly true!
When we show them they aren't needed,they align with that thought,..and hehehe at hot kiss.
Btw,pls whrz d link at to follow ur blog via email.can't find it or can u pls add me?
Biko,pls,thank u

naijawife said...

I think this goes part and parcel with what I was talking about the other day after reading "The Respect Dare" - what I struggle with is trying not to baby my husband or talk to him like a child.

DarLyn said...

Hmm I totally agree with your view though it's hard work for me to remember often time but I keep catching myself and letting the man be the man. Thanks for sharing

naijawife said...

InThe - I thought i left this comment before o.
Let me try again (even though I swore I wouldn't comment on blogs anymore lol). I really liked this post. As you already know I was tweeting about the "respect dare" book that i've been reading. I've also been trying to learn how not to treat my husband like a child by smothering him with my "maternal" inclinations. E.g. "Have you brushed your teeth? Used the loo?" etc etc. Gotta let a man be a man!

1 + The One said...

Like I said on twitter, I like the way hubster looks after you.. And you're right, it takes conscious effort to allow them lead especially if you're a DIY person..
I learn a lot from you hun.. God bless you xx

Daughter of Her King said...

thanks for sharing...

Molara Brown said...

The bf complain about this all the time...recently he told me to embrace my famine side and let him be the man...thanks for sharing

Anonymous said...

Looking back I have been SO guilty of this and then I would turn around and say they never did anything! I think we have definitely built up this wall in order to protect ourselves. The problem is that we do so much that we don't even enjoy the benefits of being a woman! ( so to speak). Wonderful, eye-opening post!

Anonymous said...

Looking back I have been SO guilty of this and then I would turn around and say they never did anything! I think we have definitely built up this wall in order to protect ourselves. The problem is that we do so much that we don't even enjoy the benefits of being a woman! ( so to speak). Wonderful, eye-opening post!

Anonymous said...

Yay for a personal post from you! :) As always very insightful. We wives should let our husbands lead, they do take delight in leading and looking after us. It is part of their calling as husbands :)

Unknown said...

girl you is good. i would not have occurred to me to fight. I would have allowed him as soon as he asked. I think I am an extreme even.

Anonymous said...

Thanks alwayS..very insightful. Just a lil question. For me, my primary love language is Acts of Service.(From the five love languages by Gary Chapman). As a result I hv the big tendency of always 'JuMping in to the rescue' always wanting to help or even takeover your work completely... Just to show my love. How can I marry this with letting my man be a man?

Anonymous said...

Lovely post! You nailed it!

IntheMidstofher said...

Jay!!: We need to encourage them right?

Yvonne: Its rampant and crazy and accepted….

Thislagosgirl: Hmm, join the club! God help us

Frances: Umh, its to the right of the screen. You know I announce my posts on twitter too.

Naijawife: Babying has a time and place but should never be a constant

Darlyn: Thank God!!

1plus: Praise God for it but it took a lot of work and grace for me to let down my guards.

Daughter of her king: Thanks girl!

Lara: it is true!! Most men want to step up but need us to let them!

Kelechi: Keep at it, God will give you the grace.

Anony: I have a sneaky feeling you were the one who posted a request for a personal post. Am I right? lol

Eniola: Good for you!

Anony: Hey!! Thanks for posting. To answer your question, you can have the gift of service and still remain in your realm of femininity. God is not a God of confusion so your gift does not mean you disrupt the natural laws of God. Serve him appropriately in a way that promotes his manhood not kills it. God will give you grace!!

Spicymorsels: Thanks for posting!!

Anonymous said...

Yes you're right! It was I who requested a personal post. Thanks a lot for acknowledging my request :) Absolutely LOOOVE your blog (Hugs)

Anonymous said...

There are two sides to "Letting a man be a man". The reason is that in my part of the world, the woman basically does all the work not because she wants to but because society has placed a burden on women to be responsible for lots of household tasks.

A friend and her husband came to visit one day and whilst they were leaving I gave her a tuber of yam since I had lots of it in the house, she was carrying something and asked her husband to assist but he did not. He asked her to carry it herself. I thought he was joking but apparently he wasn't

I have had the opportunity to talk with men who believe that the responsibility of a man is to provide for the family while the woman is to take care of the home yet the woman works and provides for the family as well.

I feel blessed to have a husband who helps in doing things around the house even though I believe he can still do more. Most of the times I chat with girlfriends who are married. The question they all ask is "How do you cope with a full time job, taking care of your baby, husband and the house?". I believe that Men need to be taking responsibilities for a lot of things regarding the house and their family.

In conclusion, there are lots of women who wants their men to be men but they find out that they have babies who like to be waited on. I would like if you write on the other part of this as well.


E' said...

One of the things I learnt from your blog before I got married. I bless God I learnt it on time cos bebe, I run tinz by myself ooooo. Aint got no time for no knight in shining nothing. I know a lot of people think I am sanguine only but I am more choleric sef. I can help myself and you while at it thank you very much. But in marriage, I mellow abeg. I let him be man oooo. I don't recall the post you mentioned it in but it had the picture of an open jam jar but that post is probably the biggest lesson I learnt from your blog.
I am still on the moon (with an OD of honey might I add) and I see the joy it gives Aku m to be let to do the things I would EASILY do.
So again nne thanks for teaching me that one HUGE lesson and early enough.
Your blog and by extension, your marriage ranks right up there as model Christian marriages with my Rev Albert Femi Oduwole's and Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo's. That my dear is saying something HUGE. Even Aku m likes you.
I will still do you a tear jerking email saying my thank you properly. Lemme not embarrass you in public....
Hugsssss. ...
Ehen @NaijaWife nne you can stop commenting on blogs oooo but not mine and not this too. No try yasef ooo. I will EXPOSE you if you dare.... :p

E' said...

And oh yes.... the inthe we know and love is baaaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkk.
You did not mention me on Twitter for this new post oooo. Don't let me EXPOSE you too ooo ha ahn. Since blogspot won't let us subscribe. Maybe you can add my email too cos I get notifications from 1plusTheOne

Anonymous said...

Biko I love d hooottt reward

online men's groups said...

Hi Inthe, This is exceptionally insightful. Only a Lil question. For me, my essential way to express affection is Acts of Service. Thus, I have the huge inclination of continually 'Bouncing into the salvage' continually needing to help or even assume control over your work totally... Just to show my adoration. How might I wed this with leaving my man alone a man?

IntheMidstofher said...

@onlineMens Group: Thanks for commenting. First of all, know that your gifts love language is God's gift to you and those you chose to serve with it. The point of this post was not to say you can't help your man but to encourage us not to emasculate our men under the guise of helping. If you feel your love language makes you want to take over the proverbial "steering wheel" in the relationship, you might need to fall back. Every good man needs a sense of purpose and a strong desire to be needed; if your man doesn't feel needed by you, he may rethink the relationship all together. God bless!