Friday, January 10, 2020

Dear Inthe…How Do I Attract A Christian Guy?

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Dear Inthe
God bless you mightily for your blog and this platform. I grew up in the church and though I didn’t fully get saved, I knew the difference between right and wrong. I started dating about five years ago and I’ve been in four different relationships since then but the last one really tore me . I got cheated on and I fell in a bad way. I found your blog and I found the courage to leave that relationship.

Time of Life... State of Mind

Now, I’m a good person, but I don’t know how I can become the type of woman a good christian guy would want to be with because they all don’t seem like the type of people I hang with. I don't see myself fitting into the stereotyped character of a Christian girl that deserves a good guy. I’m struggling with my salvation and a whole lot. I just really need advice. I’m taking some “me” time but I want to make sure that I’m prepared in case the guy should come.
Thank You
(*Content Edited for Privacy*)

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...Godly Love, Godly Marriages and Everything in Between.


Jennifer A. said...

Wow, dear InThe...there are so many things I loved about your response letter...I don't even know where to start. I think this is the best I've read of all the "Dear Inthe" segments. My prayer for Bee is that God will teach her through this Blog, and that the Holy Spirit will (by Himself) transform her into the person she was created by God to be.

...being born-again is definitely at the crux of every relationship, if Christ is not at the center, there's no way to be 'good' by ourselves or to ever be ready for the right man.

Also, I loved what you said here, "In regards to deserving a Christian guy, the fact is that in itself, we don’t deserve anything. Looking at my life before the hubster, I know for a fact that I don’t deserve him but God is a God who gives out of sheer love and mercy." Praise God. That's the way I feel too about my husband. He is simply a gift from God and I totally didn't qualify to receive such a gift. Despite my many flaws and imperfections, God is still amazing and kind to His children.

Your illustration using the lifeguard and drowning person situation was very apt and helpful. Wow. You came up with the best example on letting go and allowing the Ultimate Lifeguard (Jesus) to lead us to salvation.

Not to mince words, I really really like this post. I pray Bee finds it helpful.

IntheMidstofher said...

E’licious: You know that means a LOT coming from you. Amen to your prayers for Bee. There is nothing like the freedom of God’s love.

1 + The One said...

I absolutely agree with Jennifer's comment.
*I think you should be a Counsellor*.. Your response is very practical without compromising your faith! Love-eet!
God continue to bless you hun xx

E' said...

Loooool Inthe... You loh me sha... That wasn't E'licious. Jennifer would have your head for this.
But truth is Jennifer's opening sentence sounds like what I would say especially this 'Dear Inthe...' being my BEST ever.
This kinda post makes me grateful even though I really can't relate to that sorta past. But I am grateful that people who share such can help each other out.
Nne, you said it all.
Especially with the BREATHE part...My darling breathe... and with each exhalation, feel free to recite and meditate on Romans 8;1, THERE IS THEREFORE NOW ABSOLUTELY NO CONDEMNATION...
Cos truly there is none darling Bee.
Don't worry, sometime, you would look back and smile so hard that you once struggled with this free salvation. Or even life and marriage and fitting into a stereotype. I promise. Just stay with HIM and He will sort you out.
I am mighty glad inthe's blog ministry helped you move this far and I pray you will keep taking giant amazing steps in your Christ walk... Mega hugs
Inthe... You remind me so much of my late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya with how you answer these questions.
More grace my love
E'licious (I love the name)

Anosime said...

Dear, In the... I loved the way you said let it go. that's the best path to forgiveness Letting it go and just breathing. Truth be told, I really love this 'Dear in the' and the way you replied Bee.
I pray Bee, that you experience the peaceful awesomeness of forgiveness. Trust me it is. especially when the person who hurt you doesn't care or overlooks the fact that you were hurt. breathe and enjoy God's ever present breath he's been waiting to give you.
Well done, Inthe.

IntheMidstofher said...

E: hahahaha….please no violence in the house of God! Forgive me biko!!!!1

1Plus: Counselor? Hmmmm…. I would love too if God gave me the go ahead.

Miss Nono: Letting go is for us as much as for the other person. It helps us help God help us release the hold the other person might have on us!!

jhazmyn said...

God bless you for your response ITMOH, I pray Bee comes to a place of peace and joy in due time..

Ife.O said...

I agree with Inthe... ONE HUNDRED percent. You do have some emotional housekeeping to do like she says, but also BREATHE. Relax. Chill. For this part, I will refer you to Ecclesiastes 3; the entire chapter, but especially verses 11 to 13, where we are told that God has made everything beautiful for its own time. But also that we can never see the whole scope of what God is doing. So Solomon advises that there is nothing better than to be happy and ENJOY ourselves. "Eat, drink, make the most of life. It is God's gift to us", he says. Try to enjoy life as much as you can, and don't worry too much about "deserving" this ideal Christian man. Try as much as you can to enjoy your life and please God. This also dispels the somewhat popular notion that to be Christian is to be dull and lifeless: far from the truth. I KNOW this. You can enjoy life, be passionate, and still love and please God.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. I think it’s okay to work out your salvation. Aren’t we all? But you also have to find God for yourself. I know that sounds vague. But here is the thing, there are a lot of stereotypes about Christianity that makes you (I am only sensing this, I could be wrong) almost hesitant to want to commit to a  life with God one hundred percent. Which is why, again like Inthe... said, I think you should focus on seeking God now; on knowing who you are in God. We are assured according to His word that EVERY other thing will follow. And the only way [I know] to do this is to open the Bible. If you go on Youversion app, there are tons of devotionals with accompanying bible verses to get you started. You will see how God feels about you; what He thinks about you; and His plans for you. Do me a favor though: before you start reading any of the verses, genuinely sit down and pray, ask God to direct you and reveal Himself to you. And He truly will.  

You can do this. God is absolutely in love with you and there is an army of Christian women alongside you! 

Inthemidstofher said...

@Ife. O: #FACTS!!! I love your point about how a lot of people resist the truth because they feel they will have to fall into some dull and lifeless stereotype in order to be accepted as a Christian. It is a shame! If people truly knew how vibrant and full of life our God is...Kai!!! Thanks for commenting, sis.