Friday, May 29, 2020

Dear Inthe, I Am Afraid Of Committing To My Boyfriend.

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 Dear IntheMidstofher,

 How can you overcome the fear of commitment. I have been dating a wonderful man for a few years and the fear of even getting a proposal scares me. I broke off the relationship twice and got back again. I am afraid he may not be the one because I’ve received prophecies about him.

Fear of Commitment.

Some of the people of God I had met - people I have know for years say if I go ahead I will never be all that God wants me to be while the other’s advise me to go ahead with the relationship in faith. What should I do? I don’t want to make a mistake.
Thank you,
Soft Stepper

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Myne said...

I love how you broke it down. Will surely be very helpful even to others.

Abi Tobi said...

o wow!

Unveilinggold said...

Beautifully writer..
Using the bible helps alot especially 1 Tim 3 as you said, as well as the 10 commandments... Here is a quote from my blog about this when I was going through the same.

"Since everything started, I couldn't help but compare him to the ex. Like its so sad that I analyse every little thing. Just scared to let go and get hurt again. So, someone said instead of comparing him to my past while dont I compare him to what the bible have to say i.e. the 10 commandments. So like does he have another lady besides me? Does he take me for granted? Does he intend to keep our relationship holy and healthy? Is he sincere? Does he honour his parents? e.t.c Also I am using 1 Timothy 3 which has the characteristic of a leader. In the Midst of Her analysed it well

All these have helped me stop comparing him to the ex-mr and looking at him more. Also, now that we know how each other feel, my judgement isnt clouded, I see him with my head not necessarily my heart.. Thats not to say I dont miss sometimes.

Another thing that helps is that I am not talking to people about him"..

IntheMidstofher said...

Myne: Thank you so much; it truly means a lot! I thank God.

Abi: LOL…oh wow….?

UV Rays: Thank God and Thank you. Your view on the 10 commandments is new and fresh! never looked at it that way before!

Anonymous said...

I like unveilinggold comments as well, I have never viewed the commandments in that way.

I love how you explained your feedback, as a single woman I am taking notes.

Abi Tobi said...

like wise words!

Chi said...

u always so insightful with any topic on love and marriage.truly enjoy reading. happy holidays to u and ur family

Ife.O said...

Hi Inthe! Loved this as usual. I have a question/point/comment that I think would be helpful not just for Soft Stepper but for Christians generally. You mentioned that when it came to you deciding about the Hubster--whether to accept his proposal-- that you heard directly from God. I like that you specified that hearing from God isn’t necessary thunders and whistles or a roaring. Yet, you don't say HOW you heard from God. Let me expatiate. You did say you consulted the Word, but how? A lot of Christians consult the Word to know God's heart, for guidelines on how to live, and to pray. But when it comes to consulting the Bible for clarity on specific issues, people become paralyzed into inaction. In fact, they become all the more confused. Perhaps then, you shedding light upon this would be helpful. So in your case, did you go to specific verses? Did you randomly draw on verses? Did you sleep and these verses came to you in a dream? Did someone direct you to these verses? More importantly, how did those verses tell you the Hubster was the one? I know you don’t believe in the concept of “the one” (I don't either) so couldn't it have been possible that God’s Word (the Bible) could confirm "anyone" to you (not you specifically Inthe... lol but generally) as long as that person is a Christian, loves the Lord passionately, values what you value, and you both love each other? After all, God values our freewill and choice. And while He already knows who we will ultimately choose, I think what we can learn from several instances in the Bible is, if we are choosing within the confines of God, then it shouldn't be so complicated.. because while the Bible tells us a lot about marriage, does it actually tell us whom to marry? Which is why I thought to ask if that was the case with you-- did the Bible actually tell you to marry the Hubster? Anyway, sorry for the rambling LOL. And I want to say, I don't really have an answer to these questions too, neither am I trying to provoke you. Far from it, these questions just bubbled up as I listened and I wonder if it did the same for others as well. This (as with literally all your podcasts) was great to listen to. Thanks for sharing :)

IntheMidstofher said...

Ife: I love your question. You know the funny thing? I've gotten a lot of questions about this same topic so I am actually working on doing a live video where I discuss in details the whole journey of becoming Mrs. Adekola. This way, I can answer all questions in real time. How does that sound? Do you think you could be patient with me for a little bit while I try and get this together? *smile*