Friday, May 08, 2020

Defining Your Relationship.

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Have you ever wondered if you're in an actual relationship or a "situationship"? Have you ever wondered if the guy your dating sees the same future your planning for? Do you know if you are a fling, friend or future wife?
In this episode, I discuss defining your relationship by having what I call the  "Who Are You and What Are We Doing" conversation. This is a discussion that will help both parties define the relationship and avoid gray areas that cause heartache. PS: I mentioned the "Defining the Relationship Test" posted by, but unfortunately they have since taken the test down. No worries, you can find other resources for having this conversation in my pinterest board.
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jhazmyn said...

I have always been an advocate of the "what are we doing talk" yet for some reason, some of us are against it.

While I was still dating, until I've had that talk, I always kept things on a neutral level. No matter how much fluttering I felt in my heart (and trust me, it did so many times)

Yes, there may be guys that say they are all in and still go on to break your heart, but at least, let your conscience be satisfied that he out-rightly lied to you.

He might be at your beck and call and adore the ground you walk on, but please, until he states what he wants from you, don't assume that you're in a relationship...Thanks for this ITMOH

1 + The One said...

Preach! No time for time wasting lol... That 'talk' can be difficult and emotionally wrenching for a gal, but very needed! xx

Blessing said...

Totally agree with u #nuffsaid #cosign #datruth

Abi Tobi said...

I always like to ask the question "what r we doing?" especially when I am into the guy.. I hate wasting my precious feelings on someone who might careless....

but also, there are times, I actually just want to take it slow before defining the relationship.... I don't think there is anything wrong with that.. it could take months before I can fully commit even for a man I am crazy about.. errmm is that weird?

IntheMidstofher said...

Jhazmyn: ( I Love your name!!!) You’re absolutely welcome

1Plus: Much needed!!!!

Blessings: Latest iyawo on the block! LOL!!! much love

Abi: Truth! You could take time to determine the situation but while you’re doing this, play your role.I’ve said it 100x, chicks lose out when they don’t play their role according to what the guy see her as.You’re still checking him out, then you shouldn’t be sucking on tongue flavored lollipop (lol). If you’re checking him out? Then you shouldn’t be sweating out your weave in his kitchen cooking for an army. You’re checking him out? He shouldn’t be monopolizing your time, nor should you be stealing his.You can tell who a man is plus his potential without slipping into wifey role or expecting him to be “baby daddy”.Men were created to do hard things, women were made to make a man WANT to do hard things. Let him work, sweat and grunt for it.

Cindy Saul said...

The gospel is also against the dating without purpose!

I totally think before you get into a relationship it's important to know each other's expectation and when you are in the relationship, ask yourself these questions as well so that you aren't wasting each other's time.

Unknown said...

An emotional topic. But honestly, this is true, a merry go around is very draining. Cut things off, and be who God wants you to be. God never designs confusing relationships. NEVER AASSUUME!! that one! If he doesn't state it clear RUNNNN!!!!

Daij said...


Anosime said...

True this, inthe... so many merry go round relationships here and there. God is not the author of confusion. if it is meant to be it should work and it must be clearly defined. Both parties should also make it work.

Anosime said...

True this, inthe...if it is meant to be serious, the guy will make it obvious that he has good intentions except where the lady is not interested.